‘I was either morbidly obese or dangerously thin – then I started to exercise the right way’

Beau Marksohn, 41, is a psychological well being campaigner and lives in London

I used to be volunteering with a psychological well being charity that wanted assist delivering meals parcels to a few of their weak members in the course of the first lockdown, and so I began biking as a method of getting about. I quickly discovered I liked it – each the liberty and the wonderful focus that you just get – and so I additionally began biking round my native park.

My historical past with train – and consuming – is difficult. Since I used to be about six, I’ve both been a compulsive eater and morbidly overweight (over 25 stone) or swung the opposite method and been anorexic or bulimic and dangerously skinny. Train was often a compulsion – one thing I did to punish my physique or get thinner – fairly than for enjoyment.

I sought out assist in 2016, and for the primary time it was defined to me that I used to be affected by physique dysmorphia and that the situation was like a illness. I used to be suggested to start out consuming very regimented meal plans to assist me re-learn methods to nourish my physique, and to keep away from train till I used to be additional alongside in my restoration.

So, beginning biking was an enormous step for me. One factor I discovered daunting was the concept if I needed to be extra critical, I’d have to affix a bunch and put on Lycra. There have been weeks of my life the place I haven’t been capable of depart the home due to the best way I felt about my physique, and people sorts of core beliefs are laborious to dispel. 

I’ve not completely overcome these emotions now – I nonetheless wrestle with self-acceptance – however I made a decision I didn’t need to let the best way I really feel about my physique to carry me again anymore.

I joined the Chain Gang Cyclists, which was fashioned in lockdown by a bunch of fellows who needed to cycle for his or her psychological well being, and in them I’ve discovered such a supportive group and I like the social facet of it. 

I’ve just lately launched a weekly experience, The EveryBODY Journey, to lift consciousness about physique dysmorphia and physique inclusivity. It’s open to anybody who desires to cycle, irrespective of their skill.