I love a spoof movie. Some of my favorite comedies or all time are spoofs. Mel Brooks is my favorite comedy filmmaker. The Naked Gun is perfect cinema. Hell, the first Scary Movie is really funny. I say all of this just to establish that I’m very much the target audience for this film. Well, in actuality, no one is the target for this new Scary Movie, though your wallets are. A shameless cash grab, there are a few funny moments, but they’re sandwiched between one of the worst things I’ll see all year.
While I’ll concede that Scary Movie has a few pretty funny bits and some other moments that made me chuckle, overall it’s a pretty dreadful flick. The targets are so scattershot, even when something lands, there’s a dud or two immediately following. Plus, while the plot is never what to focus on in something like this, it’s skewering an incredibly dated type of horror, so it already feels tired immediately upon release.
I’m certainly not going to run down the plot for this film, but in broad strokes, it follows the plot of the fifth Scream, which combined new characters with legacy ones. Here, after a decent opening with a surprise cameo, Ghostface attacks Tuesday (Savannah Lee Nassif), the youngest daughter of the new shut in Cindy (Anna Faris). The attempted murder brings estranged big sister/older daughter Sara (Olivia Rose Keegan) and her boyfriend Jack (Cameron Scott Roberts) into town. There, they meet up with Brenda (Regina Hall) and her children, son Brad (Gregg Wayans) and daughter DEI (Sydney Park), as well as Brad’s girlfriend Elle (Ruby Snowber). Of course, other new characters are here, as are Shorty (Marlon Wayans) and Ray (Shawn Wayans). One of them is the killer, right?
As the Scream plot is generally followed, time is spent spoofing everything from recent horror like Sinners and Weapons, to older targets like Longlegs, The Substance, and Terrifier, via an Art the Clown appearance. Obviously, none of it matters and it’s all for laughs, but even with low standards, too many of these jokes just end up mean-spirited, instead of funny.
Anna Faris and Regina Hall fare the best here, but the acting is pretty poor across the board. Faris and Hall at least lean into the funniest bits of their characters, especially since they’ve played them so many times at this point. Marlon Wayans and Shawn Wayans generate most of the rest of the laughter, but it’s diminishing returns there. The newcomers? All terrible. Other supporting players, both new and old, include Jon Abrahams, Chris Elliott, Lochlyn Munro, Cheri Oteri, Dave Sheridan, Benny Zielke, and more.
Director Michael Tiddes can only do so much with this awful screenplay, but it has to be said, Tiddes still did very little with it. The script, credited to a rogues gallery of Rick Alvarez, Craig Wayans, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans, and Shawn Wayans, is arguably the worst in the franchise yet. It’s so devoid of any ideas and lazy, you can’t ignore its shortcomings, even when they stumble into a funny joke.
Scary Movie is terrible. I won’t lie that there are funny moments, but anything good is surrounded by so much that’s bad. It’s a shame, too, as the most recent version of The Naked Gun gave me hope for the spoof comedy. Now? We’re probably back to square one, even if this is going to prove to be wildly profitable.
SCORE: ★1/2