Culture
Nebraska’s Jahmal Banks used his family hardship to find purpose
LINCOLN, Neb. — Before her first night on the streets, Jahmal Banks’ mother picked a family from their community of support for him to live alongside. Evicted from her Maryland home, Kristie Martin pleaded with him to leave her. It would be temporary, she said.
She promised Jahmal, a student at the private Landon School in Bethesda, that she would see him daily. She wanted to ensure his clothes were ironed before Jahmal walked into the classroom every morning 12 years ago. She wanted to know he’d eat a meal each night and that he had access to a table suitable for homework.
He said no.
“I told my mom, ‘I’m going wherever you go,’” Jahmal said.
He told her he wished he could feel her pain and take it away.
Kristie, Jahmal and his two young sisters, Jasmin and Zuri, were left homeless in the wake of Kristie’s divorce from Jahmal’s stepfather. The marriage fell apart under unhealthy conditions, she said.
“It was spiritual, monetary, emotional and psychological,” Kristie said. “I didn’t get my eyes black or my teeth knocked out. When you’re hit, it can heal. For three years after that separation, I shut down from the world. What kept me going was my children. They are my joy. They are my four heartbeats.
“I lost everything. But I chose my children.”
Kristie’s oldest, Kyerra Martin, at the time, attended Bowie State in Maryland on an athletic scholarship, playing volleyball and softball. The rest of them, on that awful day, sat in Kristie’s Chevy Tahoe as she cried for 30 minutes.
Before her divorce, Kristie said she had three months of mortgage payments in the bank. A longtime paramedic, she was decorated for her skills in response to trauma.
But in this moment, Kristie said, she lost herself.
“I didn’t know what to do,” she said. “I lost my control. I was so structured. I never thought I would have to sample bread and not know where I was going to lay my head.”
The first night, a friend took them in. Over several months that followed, Kristie and her three kids moved between hotels and a shelter around Washington, D.C. They witnessed the aftermath of a murder. She lost her steady job, Kristie said, to work at Safeway and Macy’s so she could accommodate the kids’ schedules from a displaced home.
At times, Kristie said she had to choose between buying gas and food.
Perseverance, she said, allowed Kristie to regain her footing.
“God placed certain people around us at certain times,” she said. “But it was a fight every day. I found strength that I didn’t know I had.”
Through that period, Kristie and her kids also saw the best in people. People who offered them a place to sleep. Or bought their meal unexpectedly at a restaurant.
It shaped Jahmal, who turns 23 next month. In his first season as a wide receiver at Nebraska, he fits as a team leader and one of the top targets of freshman quarterback Dylan Raiola. A Wake Forest transfer who caught 101 passes in the ACC over the past two years, Banks was the only offensive player at Nebraska in August to receive a single-digit jersey — awarded by a vote of players to their 10 toughest teammates.
“Tough” hardly begins to describe him.
“Jahmal is an anomaly,” Kristie Martin said. “Not because he’s my son. You don’t meet a kid like that maybe once every 15 to 20 years. He’s been through so much — and with no father. We have beat so many statistics. And for him to be academically and athletically inclined how he is, that gives me strength.”
Kristie Martin (left) has attended each of Jahmal Banks’ (right) games at Nebraska this season. (Photo courtesy of Kristie Martin)
You won’t get an argument about Banks from Matt Rhule. After Rhule’s first team at Nebraska finished 5-7 and lost several key players, the coach plotted to build on the backs of the departed leaders.
He hoped his second team would pick up where the first group left off and set a new standard in the offseason. Rhule did not expect, though, that a newcomer would walk in and raise the bar.
Banks set an example in training. But his primary impact came away from the workouts and the weight room.
“He’s one of the first guys I’ve ever seen — like, some guys say it — but he is here to affect other people,” Rhule said. “There’s not a day that I’m not blown away by his impact on people.
“He is an amazing, amazing person.”
Banks led Nebraska players in offseason community service hours, a number that’s tracked and rewarded with points to create a competitive environment within the team. He scored more in a single offseason than any player that Rhule has coached at Temple, Baylor or Nebraska.
“He came here to help change our culture,” Rhule said.
It’s not just that Banks wanted to change the Huskers, he said. This is who he is.
Even for deeds that don’t score him points and may go unnoticed by teammates and coaches, Banks is all in. Recently, he bought the food ordered by a group of people in line behind him at Chipotle.
Why?
When his mother and sisters felt pain, Jahmal said he kept his feelings inside.
“He wanted to make sure we were good,” his sister Kyerra said. “That was just Jahmal.”
For him, an internal struggle ensued.
“At the end of the day, I had to face myself and face what I was dealing with,” he said. “In turn, I developed a purpose to make an impact in the world — just wanting to do more for my family, wanting to be someone that they could count on to be there for them and to provide.”
Jahmal said he found purpose and the key to his identity at First Baptist Church in Northwest D.C. There, he developed a giving spirit that extends beyond his family.
It shines through in his first season at Nebraska. Like when he buys food for unsuspecting strangers.
Presented with opportunities to help people, Banks does not hesitate to bring full circle his experience from difficult times of his childhood.
“My son gives so much,” Kristie Martin said.
He grabbed a 21-yard touchdown pass in the first half of his Nebraska debut. Since, he has endured a quiet stretch. Through three games, he’s caught seven balls for 76 yards.
But the Huskers are 3-0 and ranked No. 22 as they prepare to face Illinois on Friday night in the Big Ten opener for both programs.
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“It’s perfect,” he said, “because I’m process-driven, not results-driven. I make it all about us. I just continue to enjoy the journey. It’s a battle all the time, but you’ve gotta just fall in love with the process.”
Jahmal Banks transferred to Nebraska from Wake Forest in the offseason. (Photo courtesy of Nebraska Athletics)
Jahmal played the trumpet for several years and competed in lacrosse, basketball and football. In high school at Bishop O’Connell in Arlington, Virginia, he emerged as an elite prospect on the gridiron. Banks transferred as a senior to St. Frances Academy in Baltimore to play against top competition nationally.
Ivy League offers poured in. His mother wanted him to attend Penn. Jahmal was drawn to the lights of major-conference programs.
“For her, it was not the four-year plan,” Banks said. “It was the 40-year plan.”
They found a compromise in Wake Forest, a smaller, private school in a major conference. He sought a change after last season and expressed concern to Kristie that “there was no guarantee” as he looked at Nebraska, Wisconsin and Purdue.
“You’re the guarantee,” Kristie told Jahmal.
When Kristie met Rhule on their visit to Lincoln last winter, she said she “felt the passion” in him.
“Oh, my God, it was so different,” she said. “I knew that this was where he’s supposed to be. I felt like (Rhule) said what he meant and he was going to show me.”
Jahmal wasn’t about to start doubting his mother then.
“She gave, saved and changed my life,” Jahmal said. “You can look back, and in another timeline, Jahmal isn’t here. But in the timeline that was supposed to happen, he is here because of what she sacrificed.”
He has written, performed and released music about his life experiences.
He often ponders the turbulent road his family traveled.
“That’s in my mind,” Jahmal said. “I think about my sisters. I look back, and what I really want is not about money. It’s not fame. It’s about healing.”
Kristie has attended each of the Huskers’ three games at Memorial Stadium. She works again in the medical field and must miss the Friday game this week. She’ll be on site for the rest of them, along with various family members.
Meanwhile, Kyerra coaches volleyball at DuVal High School in Lanham, Maryland, and plays tackle football for the D.C. Divas as part of the Women’s Football Alliance.
She said she credits Jahmal as the inspiration for bid to compete in the sport.
Jasmin attends Maryland to study pre-law. Zuri, in high school, wants to become a veterinarian.
“I told Jahmal he’s my role model,” Kyerra said. “There’s a lot going on in this world, but it was embedded in us to help others in need. Jahmal is always the one who’s thoughtful before the thought comes out.”
(Top photo courtesy of Nebraska Athletics)
Culture
Book Review: ‘Selling Opportunity,’ by Mary Lisa Gavenas
SELLING OPPORTUNITY: The Story of Mary Kay, by Mary Lisa Gavenas
Mary Kay, the cosmetics company whose multilevel marketing included sales parties and whose biggest earners were awarded pink Cadillacs, was really in the business of selling second chances. Or, at least, that’s what Mary Lisa Gavenas argues in “Selling Opportunity,” a dual biography of the brand and the woman behind it.
Mary Kathlyn Wagner, who would become Mary Kay Ash, “the most famous saleswoman in the world” and “maybe the most famous ever,” in Gavenas’s extravagant words, was born in 1918 to a poor family and raised mostly in Houston. Although a good student, she eloped at 16 with a slightly older boy. The young couple had two babies in quick succession.
Mary Kay’s creation was a combination of timing and good luck. Door-to-door sales was a thriving industry — but, traditionally, a man’s world: Lugging heavy samples was not considered feminine, and entering the homes of strangers, unsafe. But things began to change during the Great Depression, Gavenas suggests, thanks to a convergence of factors — financial pressures and the rise of the aspirational prosperity gospel espoused by Dale Carnegie’s self-help manuals.
At the same time, female-run beauty lines like Annie Turnbo Malone’s Poro and Madam C.J. Walker’s were finding great success in Black communities. And, coincidentally or otherwise, the California Perfume Company changed its name to Avon Products in 1939.
Ash began by selling books door to door, moving on to Stanley Home Products in the 1940s. She was talented, but direct sales was a rough gig. Every party to show off wares was supposed to beget two more bookings; these led to sales that resulted in new recruits. But there was no real security or stability: no salary, no medical benefits, no vacations. “Stop selling and you would end up right back where you started. Or worse,” the author writes.
Gavenas, a onetime beauty editor who wrote “Color Stories,” takes her time unspooling Mary Kay’s tale, with a great deal of evident research. We learn about direct sales, women’s rights and Texas history.
But, be warned: Readers must really enjoy both this woman and this world to take pleasure in “Selling Opportunity.” Mary Kay the person keeps marrying, getting divorced or widowed and working her way through various sales jobs (it’s hard to keep track of the myriad companies and last names). Gavenas seems to leave no detail out. Thus, the 1963 founding of the eponymous beauty company doesn’t come until almost 200 pages in.
Beauty by Mary Kay included a Cleansing Cream, a Magic Masque and a Nite Cream (which containined ammoniated mercury, later banned by the F.D.A.). The full line of products — which was how Mary Kay strongly encouraged customers to buy them — ran to a steep $175 in today’s money. (To fail to acquire the whole set, Ash said, was “like giving you my recipe for chocolate cake but leaving out an important ingredient.”)
Potential clients attended gatherings at acquaintances’ homes — no undignified doorbell-ringing here — where they received a mini facial, then an application of cosmetics like foundation, lip color and cream rouge — and a wig. The company made $198,514 in sales its first year.
Although Ash may have seemed a pioneer, in many ways Mary Kay was a traditionalist company, whose philosophy was “God first, family second, career third.” Saleswomen, official literature dictated, were working to provide themselves with treats rather than necessities so as not to threaten their breadwinner husbands.
And yet, they were also encouraged to sell sell sell. Golden Goblet pendants were awarded for major orders. After the company started using custom pink Peterbilt trucks for shipping, it began commissioning those Cadillacs for top consultants. (Mary Kay preferred gifts to cash bonuses, lest women save the money to spend on practical things rather than the licensed frivolities.) The Cadillacs, always driven on company leases, would become industry legend and part of American pop culture lore. “Never to be run-down, repainted or resold, the cars would double as shining pink advertisements for her selling opportunity,” Gavenas writes.
The woman herself was iconic, too. While Ash was a product of the Depression, she was also undeniably over-the-top. She wore white suits with leopard trim, lived in a custom Frank L. Meier house and brought her poodle to the office.
Mary Kay went public in 1968, making her the first woman to chair a company on the New York Stock Exchange. By the 1990s, the Mary Kay headquarters near Dallas was almost 600,000 square feet. They commissioned a hagiographic company biopic; there was a Mary Kay consultant Barbie; they were making $1 billion in wholesale. When she died, in 2001, Ash was worth $98 million.
And yet, Gavenas cites that at the company’s height, in 1992, sales reps made on average just $2,400 per year.
Instead of so much time in the pink fantasia of Mary Kay, it would have been nice for a few detours showing how infrequently the opportunities the company sold were truly realized.
SELLING OPPORTUNITY: The Story of Mary Kay | By Mary Lisa Gavenas | Viking | 435 pp. | $35
Culture
Historical Fiction Books That Illustrate the Bonds Between Mother and Child
We often think of the past as if it were another world — and in some ways, it is. The politics, religion and social customs of other eras can be vastly different from our own. But one thing historians and historical fiction writers alike often notice is the constancy of human emotion. The righteous anger of a customer complaining about a Mesopotamian copper merchant in 1750 B.C. feels familiar. Tributes to beloved household pets from ancient Romans and Egyptians make us smile. And we are captivated by stories of love, betrayal and sacrifice from Homer to Shakespeare and beyond.
In literature, letters, tablets and even on coins, we find overwhelming evidence that people in the past felt the same emotions we do. Love, hate, fear, grief, joy: These feelings were as much a part of their lives as they are of our own. And they resonate especially acutely in the bond between mother and child. Here are eight historical novels that explore the meaning of motherhood across the centuries.
Culture
How ‘The Sheep Detectives’ Brought its Ovine Sleuths to Life
Sometime in the 2000s, the producer Lindsay Doran asked her doctor for a book recommendation. “I’m reading that book everybody’s reading,” the doctor replied. “You know, the one about the shepherd who’s murdered and the sheep solve the crime.”
Doran had not heard of the book, “Three Bags Full,” a best-selling novel by a German graduate student (“No one’s reading it,” she recalls responding, inaccurately), but she was struck by what sounded like an irresistible elevator pitch. “Everything came together for me in that one sentence,” she said. “The fact that it was sheep rather than some other animal felt so resonant.”
Doran spent years trying to extricate the book from a complicated rights situation, and years more turning it into a movie. The result, opening Friday, is “The Sheep Detectives,” which features Nicholas Braun and Emma Thompson as humans, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Patrick Stewart and others giving voice to C.G.I. sheep stirred from their customary ruminations by the death of their shepherd, George (Hugh Jackman).
The film, rated PG, is an Agatha Christie-lite mystery with eccentric suspects, a comically bumbling cop (Braun) and a passel of ovine investigators. It’s also a coming-of-age story about growing up and losing your innocence that might have a “Bambi”-like resonance for children. The movie’s sheep have a way of erasing unpleasant things from their minds — they believe, for instance, that instead of dying, they just turn into clouds — but learn that death is an inextricable part of life.
“In some ways, the most important character is Mopple, the sheep played by Chris O’Dowd,” the screenwriter, Craig Mazin, said in a video interview. “He has a defect — he does not know how to forget — and he’s been carrying his memories all alone.”
“Three Bags Full” is an adult novel that includes grown-up themes like drugs and suicide. In adapting it for a younger audience, Mazin toned down its darker elements, changed its ending, and — for help in writing about death — consulted a book by Fred Rogers, TV’s Mister Rogers, about how to talk to children about difficult subjects.
The journey from book to film has been long and circuitous. “Three Bags Full” was written by Leonie Swann, then a 20-something German doctoral student studying English literature. Distracting herself from her unwritten dissertation, on the topic of “the animal point of view in fiction,” she began a short story “playing around with the idea of sheep detectives,” she said. “And I realized it was more like a novel, and it wasn’t the worst novel I’d ever seen.”
Why sheep? “I wasn’t someone who was thinking about sheep all the time,” Swann, who lives in the English countryside and has a dog named Ezra Hound, said in a video interview. Yet they have always hovered on the periphery of her life.
There was a friendly sheep that she used to see on her way to school. There was an irate ram that once chased her through the streets of a Bavarian village. And there were thousands and thousands of sheep in the fields of Ireland, where she lived for a time. “There were so many of them, and you could tell there was a lot of personality behind them,” she said.
A book in which sheep are stirred to action had to be a mystery, she said, to motivate the main characters. “In a lot of other stories, you would have trouble making a sheep realize there’s a story there,” she said. “They would just keep grazing. But murder is an existential problem that speaks to sheep as well as humans.”
Swann (the name is a pseudonym; she has never publicly disclosed her real name) found a literary agent, Astrid Poppenhusen, who brought her manuscript to market. Published in 2005, the book was translated into 30 languages and ended up spending three and a half years on German best-seller lists. (The German title is “Glennkill,” after the village in which it takes place.) Other novels followed, including a sheep-centric sequel, “Big Bad Wool,” but Swann never finished her dissertation.
Doran, the producer, read the book — now published in the United States by Soho Press, along with four other Swann novels — soon after hearing about it. She was determined to make it into a movie. Whenever she told anyone about the idea, she said, she had them at “sheep.”
The director, Kyle Balda (whose credits include “Minions”), was so excited when he first read the script, in 2022, that “I immediately drove out to a sheep farm” near his house in Oregon, he said in a video interview. “Very instantly I could see the behavior of the sheep, their different personalities. I learned very quickly that there are more varieties of sheep than dogs.”
How to make the sheep look realistic, and how to strike the proper balance between their inherent sheep-iness and their human-esque emotions were important questions the filmmakers grappled with.
It was essential that “the sheep in this world are sheep” rather than humans in sheep’s clothing, Balda said. “It’s not the kind of story where they are partnered with humans and talking to each other.”
That means that like real sheep, the movie sheep have short attention spans. They’re afraid to cross the road. “They don’t drive cars; they don’t wear pants; they’re not joke characters saying things like, ‘This grass would taste better with a little ranch dressing,’” Doran said.
And whenever they speak, their words register to humans as bleating, the way the adult speech in “Peanuts” cartoons sounds like trombone-y gibberish to Charlie Brown and his friends.
Lily, the leader of the flock, is played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. It is not her first time voicing an animal in a movie: She has played, among other creatures, an ant in “A Bug’s Life” and a horse in “Animal Farm.” “When I read the script, I thought, ‘Wow, this is so weird,’” she said in a video interview. “It’s not derivative of anything else.”
Lily is unquestionably not a person; among other things, like a real sheep, she has a relatively immobile face set off by lively ears. “But her journey is a human journey where she realizes certain things about life she didn’t understand,” Louis-Dreyfus said. “There’s also the question of being a leader, and how to do that when you’re questioning your own point of view.”
Nicholas Braun took easily to the role of Officer Tim, the inept constable charged with solving the shepherd’s murder.
“The part was a little Greg-adjacent in the beginning, and I don’t really want to play too many Gregs,” Braun said via video, referring to Cousin Greg, his hapless punching bag of a character in the TV drama “Succession.”
“I’m post-Greg,” he said.
It takes Officer Tim some time to notice that the neighborhood sheep might be actively helping him tackle the case. But Braun said that unlike Greg, who is stuck in perpetual ineptitude, Tim gets to grow into a braver and more assertive person, a take-charge romantic hero — much the way the sheep are forced into action from their default position of “just forgetting about it and moving on and going back to eating grass,” he said.
Braun mused for a bit about other potential animal detectives — horses, say, or cows — but concluded that the sheep in the film were just right for the job. He predicted that the movie would change people’s perception of sheep, much the way “Toy Story” made them “look at their toys, or their kids’ toys, differently.”
“I don’t think people are going to be eating as much lamb after this,” he said.,
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