Inside Voices: Utah parents describe the ‘painful’ choice of returning to work

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Happy Friday, readers.

We so often hear Utah referred to as a “family-friendly” state, but data can be revealing and The Tribune has shared a lot recently on some not-so-friendly trends.

For example: Child care is becoming more expensive, housing is unaffordable for people earning the median income, women face a major wage gap and parental penalties are still prevalent for many working Utahns.

I’ve been curious about how Utah parents feel, so I asked. Here’s what you shared:

• “Although I graduated at the top of my pre-law class, I postponed my continuing education to have children,” said Denee in Orem. “When I returned, I chose a much lower paying profession because it was more ‘child-rearing friendly’ and allowed me summers off. I have lost retirement opportunities because of it.”

• “My wife let her guard down and married me when she was 20 years old. At the time, she worked full-time at the University of Utah. It’s now 40 years later and she continues to work full-time at the U,” said Steven in Holladay. “We have two daughters. She was forced to return to work after six weeks with each child. We couldn’t afford child care, so she felt like she had no choice but to return to work. The thing is, I have learned since, she feels like it was the most painful thing in her life that she couldn’t have more time with each child and be a full-time mother … As a male in management and executive positions, I was told to offer women less for positions because ‘they will just get pregnant and leave, and we will have to absorb the cost of recruiting and training a replacement.’ I was told to limit my recruiting efforts to women who were past child bearing years or were unmarried. We *never* held a position for a woman who took maternity leave — if we even offered it. I am ashamed that I participated in such activities.”

• “I was an Army wife and stay-at-home mom for 22 years,” said Gina in Taylorsville. “My experience moving back to Utah, where I grew up, has been painful and difficult. Not only am I treated like I’ve never worked as I’ve entered the workforce, I question whether my age is a factor in being able to find anything that pays a living wage. I went to school for two years to get a paralegal degree and have worked as a legal assistant, one step down from a paralegal position, barely making enough.”

• “I have a bachelor’s degree, and I would love to use it, but all jobs aren’t flexible with kids,” said Heather in Lehi. “I would love just to have 20 to 30 hours in my field, but I take low-paying, entry-level jobs because they have different hour shifts so I can take kids to and from school around their schedule. My husband doesn’t have flexibility either, so he’s not able to take part of the burden.”

• “I knew I wanted to have a kid and started looking into my former company’s policies a year in advance,” said Rachel in South Jordan. “It’s a global company, so I was extremely disappointed to find that our locations in Europe received almost a year of time off whereas I was only offered six weeks (partial pay as it was short term disability) with an additional six weeks covered by FMLA at no pay. I fought for and championed a parental leave policy at that company (non-child-bearing partners had no allowed paid leave) and saw an incremental improvement of four weeks fully paid added to the policy — so 10 weeks of some kind of pay for a child bearing mother. I was ecstatic! Until I read the fine print and realized I wouldn’t be eligible. My baby was due in September and the policy didn’t kick in until December with no retroactive payment offered. I missed an entire month more of sanity and bonding with my child because of some inane date. I ended up going back to work after just six weeks because I am the sole provider for my family (my husband is in medical school).”

I asked the same respondents what family-friendly policy looks like to them.

• Denee: “Parental leave with a guaranteed job when you return, an equal pay law and child care subsidies where needed.”

• Steven: “On-site 10-hour child care or equivalent paid 100% . One-year parental leave (male and female) with guaranteed position upon return, six months paid for one parent. Universal Healthcare (for everyone) but starting with kids until 18.”

• Gina: “Equal pay laws, maternity leave for both parents, everything people younger than me need to thrive. I also believe this state needs to do more for women my age who find themselves at the bottom after working for a lifetime to build a family. I see too many women at every age suffering in Utah.”

• Heather: “Encouraging work from home! Flexible hours, with the ability to take an hour here or there if you make it up at other times.”

• Rachel: “Affordable daycare, maybe based on income? Workplaces that accommodate kid schedules, drop offs, pick ups, soccer practices, etc. Company culture that doesn’t look down on a woman for leaving her career or staying and putting her kid in daycare … and parental leave/maternity leave that makes sense. The two are very different, too. Maternity leave should be considered separate from taking care of a young child because honestly you’re just trying to recover mentally and physically from a major trauma. Then you have a newborn and sleepless nights to top it all off. I honestly think the time for a childbearing mother should be a minimum of six months (sleep training doesn’t even happen until 4 months old!).”

With school fast approaching, I’d love to hear from Utah teachers about how they’re feeling. Are you an educator? Tell me whether you’ve considered leaving the profession — and why or why not.

Utah Voices

• “Thinning trees and brush can leave unsightly marks on the landscape. Prescribed burns, one of the most effective means of reducing fuel loads, can temporarily increase air pollution. Thinning projects may require heavy equipment to spend several days parked on an otherwise pristine hillside,” writes Jamie Barnes, the Utah State Forester and Director of the Utah Division of Forestry, Fire and State Lands. “These short-term impacts are necessary to reduce Utah’s wildfire risks. While a thinning project may alter the view of the mountains from your backyard, the payoff will be worth it if it reduces the damage of future wildfires.” Read more.

• “I recently completed a driving trip to the Navajo Nation and transited Salt Lake City via the freeways,” writes Steve Wheeler, a visitor from Oregon. “I count myself lucky to have survived the experience. Salt Lake is the only city I’ve ever driven in that has so many drivers going at least 80 MPH in the city limits. And if you’re not doing 80, you’re forcing other drivers to swerve around you like they’re driving the Indy 500.” Read more.

• “As policymakers consider ways to address concerns around privacy protections of personal data and market concentration of the large tech platforms, there is a critical need to muster up some human intelligence to craft a more nuanced, smart policy on digital advertising,” writes small business owner Lauren Spatafore. “Policymakers will best serve the public interest by avoiding the penchant for overregulating and increasing the cost of doing business for me and fellow entrepreneurs.” Read more.

• “Utah should deregulate liquor sales,” Parker McCumber told Tribune reporter Kolbie Peterson. “Allowing private businesses to compete would drive competition and better prices. It’s time to trust adults and embrace liberty by ending state control over liquor sales.” Read more.

Share Your Perspective

Are you a Utah educator? Tell me whether you’ve considered leaving the profession — and why or why not.

From Bagley’s Desk

I’m always looking for unique perspectives, ideas and solutions that move our state forward. Learn more about our guidelines for an op-ed, guest essay, letter to the editor and more here, and drop me a note at voices@sltrib.com.