Tonga Room is an SF rite of passage. But is it worth visiting?

By some means, regardless of dwelling within the Bay Space for eight years, I’ve by no means made it to the well-known tiki bar within the basement of the opulent Fairmont Resort. However rumors of dizzyingly robust drinks and a $1,000 nice lobbed at anybody drunk sufficient to leap into the bar’s iconic swimming pool have stored my creativeness working wild. 

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Scenes from the Tonga Room, in San Francisco’s Fairmont Resort, together with a warning to not leap within the pool, higher proper, and a glimpse of the cocktail menu, decrease left. (Douglas Zimmerman/SFGATE)
Scenes from the Tonga Room, in San Francisco’s Fairmont Resort, together with a warning to not leap within the pool, higher proper, and a glimpse of the cocktail menu, decrease left. (Douglas Zimmerman/SFGATE)

Strolling into the bar round 6 p.m. on a Friday night, I anticipated the Tonga Room to be a zoo of vacationers. Nevertheless it wasn’t — at the least not but. My colleague Doug and I instantly nabbed a desk by the bar, after which, the thunder sounded. 

As if the blue lagoon centerpiece wasn’t sufficient, there are thunderstorms — sheets of rain and all — that erupt each half hour on the Tonga Room. Most nights, the institution’s official band, The Island Groove, serenades the group on a thatch-covered stage that floats across the pool. A dance ground made out of the planks of a lumber schooner can also be accessible for these feeling free after a number of Mai Tais.

Taking all of it in, I couldn’t assist however crack a smile — it’s simply so earnestly over-the-top. And I hadn’t even ordered a drink but. 

I rapidly fastened that by choosing what felt like essentially the most traditional possibility: a “1944 Mai Tai” ($20), which the menu proudly declares was invented in Oakland. Doug ordered a “Hurry Kane” ($28), an much more startlingly costly tribute to a traditional tiki cocktail. 

Heaps has been written about tiki bars being problematic, constructed on colonial nostalgia and the misuse of Polynesian iconography. Whereas the Tonga Room hails from one other period — 1945 — tiki was already starting to be seen as regressive by the late Sixties. 

Nonetheless, tiki skilled a revival within the Nineties, and yet one more extra lately, when the need for escapism abounded within the wake of the pandemic. Tiki bars are extra widespread than ever in San Francisco, with trendy institutions tending to defend the theme as a tribute to a retro design aesthetic (and a extremely influential cocktail motion) somewhat than a case of cultural appropriation. 

Say what you’ll concerning the Tonga Room, however 77 years has topped it a historic San Francisco establishment. Many adore it and can defend it to the dying; when it was threatened with closure in 2009, a Fb group of 4,000 banded collectively to put it aside. 

Most Tonga Room guests aren’t considering critically about tiki bars once they go to, anyhow. From the second my Mai Tai arrived in a ceramic tiki statue-shaped cup, just a little sprig of mint and a lime wedge protruding festively, I felt my head go empty. 

Mmm … a candy, tart, fruity drink. Nothing sophisticated right here, however it was extraordinarily drinkable. 5 sips in, I used to be tipsy. By the point I used to be midway by the drink, I can confidently say I used to be drunk. I assume a $20 cocktail isn’t so dangerous whenever you solely want to purchase one to really feel the consequences.

I’d heard rumors about Tonga Room cocktails being sickeningly candy, however I don’t suppose that’s been the case for about 10 years. The menu obtained a makeover in 2013, changing prepackaged mixers with contemporary citrus — and I can attest they’re higher for it. 

“These are harmful,” Doug declared. His drink was even stronger. 

I obtained so hammered from my singular cocktail, the truth is, that I tried to signal the test earlier than I even gave the server my bank card. Yep, starting to see what conjures up folks to leap within the pool. 

As we left round 7:30 p.m., the band had simply began to play, regaling the group from their floating barge with a tacky Norah Jones cowl. The paper lanterns strung between the fake palm timber solid a mushy glow over the blue lagoon. An aged couple swayed on the dance ground. Lastly, a buzzing line had fashioned outdoors the doorway. 

The Tonga Room could also be a bar that caters to vacationers, and it additionally is probably not notably hip with the instances. And it’s costly (if you happen to stick round to look at the band, that’ll be one other $15). Nevertheless it’s undoubtedly a San Francisco bucket record merchandise for each locals and vacationers alike — if for no different purpose than the opportunity of witnessing some bozo get fined $1,000 for daring to take a dip. 

I feel I lastly perceive what as soon as compelled Anthony Bourdain, a mischievous glint in his eye, to declare the Tonga Room “the best place within the historical past of the world.”