'Hidden crisis': North Idaho needs foster parents

COEUR d’ALENE — When Tali Nichols was a 21-year-old newlywed, she didn’t plan to have children for a few years, maybe not until after she finished her degree in elementary education. 

Then she and her husband, Morgan, got a call that changed their lives.

A family member had lost custody of her baby, who was just six days old. The Idaho Department of Health and Welfare was looking for kinship caregivers — relatives or close family friends who could care for the baby. 

“We had 24 hours to decide if we would take in a newborn baby,” Nichols recalled. 

They’ve raised the boy ever since. Two and a half years after he first came into their home, they adopted him. The 8-year-old boy has been joined by two biological siblings, aged 7 and 4, as well as many foster siblings over the years. 

“We’ve used this as an opportunity to show the love of God to others and what it means to be a family,” she said. 

The Nichols are among just 219 foster families in the five northern counties. There are about 1,500 foster children in Idaho at any given moment. The Idaho Department of Welfare needs to recruit more foster parents like the Nichols, with a goal of doubling the rate of qualified foster families in Idaho. 

In the near-decade since the Nichols began fostering, they’ve cared for 19 different children, ranging in age from newborns to older teens. Many of the children stayed with the Nichols only briefly, while relatives got licensed to provide kinship care. Others stayed for longer. 

“Foster care is this hidden crisis,” said Mishaela “Shae” Mouchette, Region 1 recruitment coordinator for Fostering Idaho. “People don’t know how many children are in foster care at their child’s school or in their church. They just don’t see it.” 

In North Idaho, the number of foster children is usually about equal to the number of foster homes, but most foster parents prefer to care for children under the age of 12. Only about 10% of foster parents are open to caring for teens, according to IDHW. 

“People are scared of teens,” Mouchette said. “Our goal is to show people that these are just kids. All they need is some love and some stability. They’re not to be feared.” 

When there are no foster homes available for teens, they must live in group homes. Mouchette said such settings can be damaging for teens who have already experienced trauma and instability. 

“It’s no way to live,” she said. “It doesn’t come close to being in a foster home and having one-on-one people there to love and care for you.” 

In addition to her role at Fostering Idaho, Mouchette is a foster mom. She and her husband became licensed in 2020. Their first long-term placement was a pair of siblings, a 4-year-old girl and a 1-year-old boy, whom they fostered for two years and ultimately adopted. They’ve also welcomed a biological son and will soon continue fostering. 

Mouchette emphasized that her family’s adoption experience is not typical and, in some ways, not ideal. The No. 1 goal of foster care is to reunite children with their biological parents or, barring that, with other biological relatives. 

About 65% of Idaho children in foster care are eventually reunited with their parents, Mouchette said. Most other children are permanently placed in the care of relatives, whether through guardianship or adoption.   

“It is a win every time a child is reunified with family,” she said.   

Many people become foster parents for the same reason as the Nichols did: to care for a specific child, typically that of a relative or a close friend, in an emergency. Of 219 foster families in North Idaho, 92 are providing kinship care for a specific child. 

“They can’t be called for an emergency placement,” Mouchette said. 

That’s why it’s important to increase the number of foster parents in Idaho. 

“Anybody who feels they have the capacity in their heart and their home, that’s who we’re looking for,” said Monty Prow, deputy director of youth and family services for IDHW. “We can work with you to get the rest of the way there. If a family’s heart is pulling them in this direction, the rest is detail. We can work that out.” 

Mouchette said some people mistakenly think they’re unsuitable for fostering because they’re unmarried, don’t own a home or don’t fit into another preconceived idea about what foster parents should be. But it takes all kinds. 

Foster parents can be single, married or divorced. They can live in apartments. They can be parents or have no parenting experience. They can be part of the LGBTQ+ community. They can come from any culture or religious faith. In fact, Mouchette said, foster parents from different backgrounds are needed because foster children come from diverse backgrounds, too. 

“They need people who will accept them for who they are,” Mouchette said. 

Social support and other resources are available for foster parents in Idaho. In addition to frequent group events where foster parents can meet and build community, each Region 1 foster parent has a mentor they can turn to when they need advice or support. 

“That is a huge support that other states don’t have,” Mouchette said. 

Respite care options are available for foster parents who need a break. Both Nichols and Mouchette have provided respite care for other foster families. 

Foster parents also receive a monthly reimbursement to offset the costs of caring for children. This reimbursement is a flat amount based on the child’s age, beginning at $632 per month for children aged 5 and younger and topping out at $759 per month for children aged 13 to 17. 

Nichols said she and her husband will continue to foster for the foreseeable future. 

“We’ll be there as long as the kids need us,” she said. “It’s hard. You can’t go in with blinders on. You have to be aware of the struggles and be willing to embrace grief. But there is so much joy and so much healing. It’s always more than you expect at the beginning.”  

To learn more about foster care for prospective families, call 211 or 800-926-2588 or visit the foster care page on the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare website.