Dear Opponent: Colorado – Sports Illustrated TCU Killer Frogs News, Analysis and More

“I’m right here to chew bubblegum and speak trash!  And I am all out of bubblegum.” 

–“Rowdy” Roddy Piper (barely amended) 

Expensive Buffaloes, 

I, together with the remainder of Frogdom, want to commend you on not having gone extinct.  It’s undoubtedly one of many nice surprising tragedies of Manifest Future that within the federal institution of such an attractive state as Colorado, and its civilizing that wilderness sufficiently to necessitate a college similar to yours, the mascot which you rightly take a lot delight in was virtually wiped off the face of the earth.  As of now, a Google search of the Colorado Buffalo elicits the next notification:  “Close to threatened.”    

And that’s the extent I do know of the Colorado Buffaloes.  In toto. 

I’m advised that TCU is meant to have a greater crew this yr than yours.  Certainly, final season you completed 4-8 whereas we managed one victory extra at 5-7 (which hardly vouchsafes us bragging rights).  In line with Tipico Sportsbook (no matter that’s) we’ve a 13.5 level unfold benefit, a -475 cash line (as towards your +340), and the over-under for the sport is 55.5.  As I don’t know what any of which means, and contemplate it impolite to brag about any victory, significantly earlier than it has been completed, I want to want you a very good sport and that you just, in addition to us, take pleasure in a greater season than final yr, as long as your enchancment is just not gained at our impoverishment.  

So, it’s my hope that the TCU Horned Frogs and Colorado Buffaloes can come collectively peacefully in a state identified for the legalization of marijuana–a completely smart legislative determination, for my part.  

Having stated that, to be trustworthy, I’ve by no means had a lot expertise for the drug myself, struggling the inveterate ignominy of being set upon by the giggles such that, just like the weasels in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” I generally hallucinate that the ghost in my bodily machine is about to levitate to a blizzard of yelps; in any other case, I turn into a dumb lazy slug burdened with the somewhat unappealing process of instructing himself tips on how to stroll.  

Anyway, the change of hashish is a noble pastime and I’ve little question that the athletic competitors between our two groups will likely be extra amicable for it.  

Greatest,

SI  

P.S., You would possibly take it upon yourselves out of primary decency to warn our personal people from the Fort, not accustomed to smoking or consuming the inexperienced stuff, of the psychological and bodily risks of getting “cross-faded.”  That sucks.  

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN WRITTEN FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY; ANY ATHLETIC WISDOM OR INSIGHT OR KNOWLEDGEABILITY THEREIN, NOT DIRECTLY QUOTED BY MY COLLEAGUES, IS NOT ONLY PURELY ACCIDENTAL BUT UNFORTUNATE.

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