Tennis great Pam Shriver reveals she had ‘inappropriate’ relationship with ‘much older’ coach as a teenager

Worldwide Tennis Corridor of Famer and ESPN analyst Pam Shriver on Wednesday revealed she was in an “inappropriate and damaging relationship” together with her “a lot older” coach that started when she was 17, and he was 50.

Shriver talked about her relationship with coach Don Sweet and the “painful and emotional journey” she underwent, in a first-person account printed by the Every day Telegraph.

Shriver stated she was guided by Sweet, who served as her coach and chaperone when she began taking part in on the tour in 1978 on the age of 15. Below Sweet, she reached the U.S. Open last as a 16-year-old newbie, ultimately dropping in straight units to Chris Evert. However in 1979, in the course of a tennis tough patch with no victories in 5 months, she advised Sweet that she was “falling in love,” with him — regardless of their 33-year age hole. 

Sweet died in 2020 on the age of 91. 

“I nonetheless have conflicted emotions about Don. Sure, he and I turned concerned in a protracted and inappropriate affair. Sure, he was dishonest on his spouse. However there was quite a bit about him that was trustworthy and genuine. And I liked him,” Shriver wrote. “Even so, he was the grown-up right here. He ought to have been the reliable grownup. In a distinct world, he would have discovered a technique to hold issues skilled. Solely after remedy did I begin to really feel rather less accountable. Now, finally, I’ve come to understand that what occurred is on him.”

Over the subsequent 5 years, Shriver stated “every little thing bought blurry, when strains had been crossed,” as the connection began to get bodily. She stated they’d intercourse when she was 20. 

“We did share rooms. We did nearly every little thing else that two people who find themselves attracted to one another can do,” Shriver stated.

Shriver admitted that Sweet by no means abused her sexually, although she famous there was emotional abuse.

“I felt so many horrendous feelings and I felt so alone,” she wrote. “The worst could be my anger and jealousy when his spouse got here to tournaments. In actual fact, Elaine was beautiful. I do not assume she ever knew what was happening. If she did, she stored it to herself. However each time she confirmed up, we needed to fully flip the best way we had been coexisting.”

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She described the connection with Sweet as a “traumatic expertise,” that impacted her capacity to kind “regular” relationships after the time they spent collectively. 

American tennis participant Pam Shriver on the Virginia Slims of Newport Tennis Event, Newport, Rhode Island, July 1987.
(Photograph by Barbara Alper/Getty Photographs)

“Our affair formed my complete expertise of romantic life. It stunted my capacity to kind regular relationships and set sure patterns which might recur: my ongoing attraction to older males and my difficulties in understanding how you can preserve wholesome boundaries,” she added. 

Shriver, who received 21 Grand Slam doubles titles over the course of her prolific tennis profession, stated she ended the connection with Sweet and began to have a look at different coaches after the 1984 season on the age of twenty-two.

“I truly stored utilizing Don as a training advisor, as a result of he was so insightful about my sport. However neither he nor I ever tried to rekindle something – a mercy for which I’ll give credit score to either side,” she wrote. 

Shriver stated she determined to talk out publicly this week to make clear abusive teaching relationships in tennis, which she argues nonetheless “goes on – quite a bit.”

“I imagine abusive teaching relationships are alarmingly widespread in sport as a complete. My explicit experience, although, is in tennis, the place I’ve witnessed dozens of cases in my four-and-a-bit a long time as a participant and commentator. Each time I hear a few participant who’s courting their coach, or I see a male physio engaged on a feminine physique within the health club, it units my alarm bells ringing,” Shriver wrote. 

Pam Shriver attends day 5 of the 2016 US Open at USTA Billie Jean King Nationwide Tennis Middle on September 2, 2016 within the Queens borough of New York Metropolis.
(Photograph by Jean Catuffe/GC Photographs)

“It is a widespread downside and we’d like a broad-spectrum alliance if we’re going to deal with it. Probably the most essential organisations goes to be the Worldwide Tennis Federation, as a result of they organise the junior occasions. However everybody should come collectively – the WTA, the ATP and the 4 grand slams – to enhance tennis’ safeguarding practices,” she added. “My sensitivity to those points is barely rising as my three youngsters transfer into their late teenagers. I’d love to guard them and their contemporaries from the trauma of poisonous relationships. And thus from needing the kind of remedy I went via final 12 months.”