Cothrum: Stop with the speakerphones in public

If you spend time with me, you’ll potentially hear me muse, “I feel a column coming on.” Often, it’s because some city staff member or elected official has said or done something I deem egregious.

Other times, it’s because I’m trying to write about what everyone is experiencing. I’m listening for it. Unfortunately, it’s becoming harder and harder to listen because too many people are using their speakerphones in public. It’s a menace. From where I sit, people are increasingly violating the earspace of others.

As Woodrow Call in Lonesome Dove maintained: “I hate rude behavior in a man. I won’t tolerate it.”

It makes me want to take out my old referee whistle and blow it and cry, “Foul!”

I recently was forced to hear a lengthy Facetime interaction — a woman being beseeched by her friend, who was in Portugal, to travel more. Ironically, we were in a crowded airport terminal.

Sadly, she and her cousins were only off to Cincinnati.

I’ve been logging these conversations for a few months now. At Tom Thumb, an offender needed to discuss swim lessons by speakerphone. Out for a walk, I saw a shirtless man riding a bike — poorly, I might add — holding a phone and barreling toward me. My pandemic skills kicked in and I safely distanced. I’ve gotten to hear a woman discussing her aging mother’s health. I was worried I was unwittingly committing some HIPAA offense.

I can report that people also feel compelled, while eating tacos, to watch programming on speakerphone. This is wildly out of bounds. Everyone has to be entertained all the time. We are not at Idiocracy levels yet, are we?

Still others think they are starring in their own reality television show. Often on those programs the loathsome contestants talk into their phones so as not to spoil the shot. Perhaps people think this has a high cool factor and seek to emulate it.

Come on, people. How hard is it to hold the phone to your ear? Maybe I’m more sensitive because I sometimes read in public — and not what’s on my phone. You know, like books and stuff.

I can’t turn my hearing off, so I try to turn off my active listening. It’s getting increasingly difficult to do so because the disruption is blatant.

Sometimes the culprit isn’t thinking about it. That’s a sin of omission. In others, however, it’s one of commission. They know it’s loud and invasive — and they do not care.

I politely tried telling the guy eating tacos that the volume was bothering me. He curtly let me know, “I don’t care.”

I’m not always one to let things go — even in my 50s. I asked if he was aware of something revolutionary called headphones. He flashed me the number one signal. I hope he isn’t a newspaper subscriber.

I imagine many of these scoundrels are unhappy, unrecognized or frustrated with life. Maybe they are intentionally oversharing their volume because they need to be noticed. I am reminded of the work of the late psychologist Marshall Rosenberg. His groundbreaking work on nonviolent communication surmised that people are only ever saying two things: please and thank you.

These societal offenders seek attention. I have started to give them some with a simple greeting or wishing them a good day. I’ve tried to ask what musician or television program they’re enjoying. Next time, I’ll ask the guy eating tacos if his lunch is good.

“I like to listen,” Ernest Hemingway remarked. “I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”

I’m trying to hear people and listen to ideas. But all the noise makes me want to give up, put on my headphones and ignore everyone.

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