Obituary: Kaleb Bates-Wolcott, 1982-2024

This
obituary is written in honor of Kaleb’s life and memory.

Kaleb
Asher Bates-Wolcott was born at home in Elmore, Vt., on June 17.
1982. He died peacefully in the early morning on April 18, 2024, at
Central Vermont Medical Center in Barre, Vt., at the age of 41. He
had bravely, as the warrior he was, coped with muscular dystrophy
throughout his lifetime. Kaleb was an amazing human being. He was
strong-willed, intelligent, kind and generous, with a great sense of
humor — a good listener who patiently listened to the worried well
at his bedside.

Kaleb
lost his ability to walk at age 12 and creatively and fiercely
adapted to his life in an electric wheelchair. His top priority was
his social life. In Wauwatosa, Wis., he learned early that to meet
people he had to reach out to them, first by ignoring their fears and
biases of the disabled, and then disarming them with his wit and
humor. He quickly got a paper route with a friend who rode on the
back of his chair at top speed, while pitching papers onto lawns. In
high school, he began to watch cooking shows with a friend after
school, which developed into 15-20 teens regularly testing new
recipes in the kitchen into the early hours of the morning. Kaleb
prided himself on directing and inspiring his friends on how to
appreciate and cook good food. (His mother bought the groceries.
“Really, you NEED Chilean sea bass?”) Kaleb also had an eclectic
taste in music, ranging from Frank Sinatra to Wu-Tang Clan, obscure
local hip-hop to Coldplay and classical to jazz. While attending
Marquette University and the University of Wisconsin, he began, on
his own, to investigate the music scene in Milwaukee. Security guards
at each venue soon realized he wasn’t safe in the raucous crowds,
so he watched from backstage and met many famous musicians along the
way.

He
took in the world through conversations, food, art, music and film.
These hours of study resulted in critical and categorical knowledge
of just about everything, including the existence of bigfoot and
ancient aliens. He entertained all ages at his bedside by figuring
out what people’s tastes were and introducing them all to new
movies or the latest series or video game. Kaleb was supported, loved
and cared for by a large group of extended family, friends and
caregivers whom he cared for deeply.

Kaleb’s
immediate family members include his parents, James G. Wolcott, of
Jeffersonville, Vt., and Barbara A. Bates, of Westmoreland, N.H.; his
siblings, Eliza Bates-Wolcott, of Fayston, Vt., and Ezra Bates
-Wolcott, of Traverse City, Mich.; his nephews, Elijah Wolcott, of
Descanso, Calif., and Jackson Craig, of Fayston, Vt.; his niece,
Lilliana Hoy, of Sandy, Utah, and his maternal grandmother, Janet
Mckallor Beck, of Westmoreland, N.H.

A
Viking celebration of life will be held at a later date, with close
friends and family.

In
memory of Kaleb, consider donating to the charity of your choice.
“Pay it forward!”

He
would like that.