Fargo woman speaks out on experiences growing up in area foster homes

FARGO — This October is Foster Youth Voice Month in North Dakota, recognizing the more than 1,450 youth in foster programs in the state.

Kalista Flansburg, a 23-year-old now living independently after growing up moving from foster home to foster home, is sharing her story to amplify the voices of those currently living in foster care, and hoping to create change.

“My family was kind of raised in a way, like no matter what happens at home family is family. Like, if the cops were to get called, you don’t tell them what happened. They’re you’re family, you don’t tell them what happened no matter what they do to you,” Flansburg said.

Flansburg grew up in difficult circumstances, eventually leading her to leave home to live with friends at the age of 14.

“There was a lot of domestics that was going on, there was a lot of drug use, and like negligence, and I was like the only kid that actually told the truth to cops and my family didn’t like that,” Flansburg said.

When she entered into foster care at 15, she bounced around the area. She stayed in homes in Fargo, Beach, and Bismarck in North Dakota and Crookston and Breckenridge in Minnesota. She said her experiences varied greatly from home to home.

“They didn’t watch us as much. Like. we got to go on the internet and do whatever, but then I go to the next home and I can’t have my phone in my room, I can’t even have it in the basement, it has to stay upstairs in the living room,” Flansburg said

She loved school activities like choir and cheer leading, but moving so often would mean frequently having to start fresh with new programs and people. But despite the difficult journey, she was able to graduate high school. WDAY News asked what it meant to her to graduate after all she had gone through.

“It actually kind of meant a lot to me because in my biological family I am the youngest and I am the only to graduate with a high school diploma. So it was a big thing in our family,” Flansburg said.

She hopes to someday pursue higher education, potentially in psychology or social work.

Now 23 years old, Flansburg is living independently in Fargo with an apartment, cats, and a job at a restaurant. She wants to highlight the importance of listening to those living in foster care because she felt like she didn’t have a voice when she did.

“I felt like because they didn’t understand me, they’d just kind of shun me out and was like, ‘No I’m not going to listen to a delinquent, like, you don’t know what you’re talking about when I actually do,’” Flansburg said.

As someone who stayed at many different foster homes, she wants to push for more consistency between homes.

“We (foster children) notice when there’s favoritism, like you should treat each one the same like they’re your kid. Like, even if they’re not going to be there for a while, you should make it to the fullest for them,” Flansburg said.