Families and advocates continue to fight for LGBTQ+ rights in North Dakota

FARGO — The Dolney family spent much of 2023 tracking the legislative session in Bismarck.

“We did talk a lot about moving, possibly fleeing the state because of all of it,” Devon Dolney said, referencing new laws like having school staff notify parents when a student comes out as transgender, not recognizing preferred pronouns and a banning trans-related health care for minors. This directly impacts Devon’s son, Tate Dolney.

“Like, I have puberty blockers,” Tate said. “(We) just had to drive all the way to Minnesota to get it because you can’t get it here anymore. It’s a lot of figuring out what we should do if those things get passed.”

“People in Bismarck I know, and in Minot and Williston, have been affected by it, and it’s a lot more difficult for them,” Devon said.

On top of all this, Tate said he deals with bullying at school.

“I’ve been called the one F-word a lot of times, like just randomly in the hallways. Probably close to every day,” Tate said. “I do have a lot of friends, though, so that’s good, but some of the students just like randomly in the hallways aren’t as nice as my teachers.”

Devon and her son have been openly advocating for their rights at the state capitol. In the background of the politics, consultant Faye Seidler is working with schools and counselors to collect data about the LGBTQ+ youth in North Dakota.

“It’s worse across everything you can measure,” Seidler said of how stats for LGBTQ+ youth compare to those of straight youth. “They’re getting bullied at twice the frequency of straight students, they are experiencing homelessness or getting kicked out of their home at two to three times the rate of our straight students. If you don’t collect that data and you’re not observing it, then it’s hard to actually address it any meaningful way.”

The stats collected by Seidler and analyzed by consultant Mark Winkelman are shocking.

Of the LGBTQ+ students surveyed in North Dakota, about half said they have seriously considered suicide at some point. According to Seidler, the data counts just over 20,000 total LGBTQ+ students in North Dakota.

If a person were to crunch those numbers with the more than 100,000 students in North Dakota, that means roughly 10,000 students in the state have contemplated suicide, Seidler noted.

There are resources to help queer students and their families, like

Project RAI

.

“Just being honest with our kids and ensuring that they know that they’re never going to be alone,” said Kristin Nelson, founder of Project RAI. She works with families like the Dolneys to help find resources in town and advocates for the rights of LGBTQ+ youth.

“Queer people are here; they’ve always been here. It’s a bummer that people think we can legislate away a whole group of people. But that’s where we’re at, and we’re trying to mitigate all of those concerns,” Nelson said. “There were some really good champions on both sides of the aisle, so we were really, really pleased to see that, and I think those champions helped mitigate some really, really nasty bills.”

Her group is among a long list of resources in town. Seidler compiles the top resources in the area on her website.

“When I look at the outcome and impact of this, I’m always looking at it through a lens of safety and accessibility,” Seidler said. “How do we make sure these kids feel safe and feel secure enough to talk to us about some of these things so we can get them help? Whether they be trans or cis, whether they be straight or gay, do our kids feel safe to get the help that they need?”

She has noticed that as state lawmakers create new laws aimed at LGBTQ+ youth, mental health resources are not added.

“It’s unfortunate that they are getting medically necessary care reduced without there being anything in place to help them,” Seidler said.

The new laws shed light on families talking about leaving the state, but Seidler said the exodus has been going since 2015 when the state House voted down an LGBTQ anti-discrimination bill.

Many are still holding out hope and not letting the laws drive them out. The Dolneys plan on staying in Fargo.

“I have so many friends that I’ve made and I’ve had for so long,” Tate said. “I would not like it at all if I had to just go and move and not be able to see them anymore.”

“We want to stay as long as we can and try to push back as much as we can because born and raised — both my husband and I — in North Dakota, and it’s our home. We want to stay here,” Devon said.

They are carrying on a battle for human rights, hoping to make home better for people like them.

Seidler said there is a large amount of resources for North Dakota’s LGBTQ+ population.

They are listed on harborhealthinitiative.org.