Minnesota
Yankees 9, Twins 5: Scared hitless (through five)
This game was an embarrassing turd;
We all vomited.
We should’ve been swinging up there,
Not just taking awful strikes — umps don’t help.
All in all it was a wretched first,
The Yanks put four painful runs through.
Offense? We had to try,
Try, but we
Had no little offense not a soul could reach…
No one
Through five
Even reached the bases,
Thought it’d last (thought it’d last) all night:
This was an embarrassing turd.
Well, there were still some STUDS tonight;
Some stood aloft that we’re proud to see:
Yeah, Royce and big Santana skied
Very far o’er the wall,
Their blasts soaring out of reach.
DUDS were Paddack, Castillo, and
Home plate ump not allowed to see.
Props zkonedog: he had the Comment,
The game’s best rant meant to teach.
Still we’re
Alive
And we’re reached a stasis;
We’ll be back (we’ll be back) next night,
Them to be embarrassed in turn!