Ask Yadi: If a party invite says no gifts, do you bring one anyway?

CLEVELAND, Ohio — Can you say “no gifts allowed” at a party? If an invite says no gifts, do you bring one anyway?

Of course you can, it’s your party. You can make whatever rules you want. People have their own reasons for not wanting gifts. Maybe they really don’t need anything. Perhaps they just want your presence at the event. Cheesy maybe, but that may be all the gift the party thrower needs. Or maybe they have gotten really crappy and un-useful gifts over the years. Whatever reason they have, they certainly can request that you just attend the party empty-handed.

Are there some people that say “Oh, don’t worry about bringing anything” and secretly hope that you do? Maybe, but that’s on them. Perhaps just don’t say anything at all and see what happens.

Will there still be some people who bring gifts anyway? Probably. I doubt they are doing it to anger you but because they want to do something nice. Perhaps they had bought a gift for you a while ago and it is now not returnable.

In that situation, say thank you and party on.

If you are at a bar maybe your guests will buy your drinks, I can’t imagine many people would be upset about that.

If you really want to give a gift to the host or hostess, and you are like me and don’t feel comfortable attending a party empty-handed, ask “What can I bring to share at the party?” This obviously is for a party that is taking place at someone’s home or a hall, not at a venue or restaurant. And this can be something as simple as ice, balloons, a dessert, a bottle of wine/case of beer, or anything else they may need.

If it is a close friend, you can always send them something before or after the party. Invite them to dinner later in the month. A simple card to let them know that you wish them the best, send flowers, or a thank you card for inviting you to share in their celebration.

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Do you have a question or an etiquette predicament that you want advice on? Send me an “Ask Yadi” email at yrodriguez@cleveland.com