Ask Yadi: Do you give back gifts when you break up with a partner?

CLEVELAND, Ohio — Do you give back gifts when you break up with a partner?

Break-ups are never fun. Most of us have been through them. It doesn’t matter if you are the one breaking things off or if you are being dumped, emotions run high, and it can be a tough time for all parties involved.

Once the dust settles, you realize that you have accumulated gifts throughout the relationship. As you pack them up and put them away (or maybe you continue to use them), do you wonder if you have to return anything?

Does the heartbroken partner come back to you and ask you to return any (or all) gifts that were given to you during the relationship? Do you offer to return any of the gifts on your own?

Oh, the quandary of what to do.

The one thing is that you shouldn’t feel an obligation to return any of these things. They were given to you as gifts. If you stop talking to a friend, do you ask for past birthday or holiday gifts to be returned? I don’t think so. Gifts were given to you for various reasons, special occasions and out of love. Therefore, they are now your possessions to do with as you wish.

That could be to continue to use them. After all, if you kept it, chances are it was something you wanted, needed, or liked. You could also donate them to charity, throw them out, or return them. The choice is yours.

Exceptions to this would be an engagement ring (although that can be debatable) or family heirlooms, whether they be jewelry, furniture or anything else. These things should be returned even if they aren’t requested of you. You should probably make the offer. You don’t want something that belongs to what could have been a future in-law, or family member anyway.

So hold on to those gifts or toss them in the trash. These gifts were given to you, so you may do whatever you want with them after you close the door on that relationship.

Past questions

Ask Yadi: Is that child acting rude or ill-mannered for not speaking to or looking at me?

Ask Yadi: Is there an age limit on trick-or-treating?

Ask Yadi: Is chivalry dead?

Ask Yadi: Is it cool or creepy to comment on someone’s outfit?

Ask Yadi: Do I continue to speak to my unfriendly and rude new neighbors?

Ask Yadi: If your elderly or disabled parent has moved in with you, should they contribute financially to the household?

Check out even more prior Ask Yadi columns here.

Do you have a question or an etiquette predicament that you want advice on? Send me an “Ask Yadi” email at yrodriguez@cleveland.com