Moving Through the Lens

Her world exterior of the business was diminishing. She stated: “I by no means wished to say no to work. I used to be actually fortunate. Each time Paolo Roversi or Craig McDean or Steven Meisel would name, it might be a sure for certain. After which, runway reveals take up an excellent portion of the yr, and fairly quickly you’re working Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Thanksgiving, not seeing your loved ones.”

She paused. “Yeah, I didn’t tempo myself very properly.”

Ms. van Seenus started experiencing crippling anxiousness and melancholy. It bought so unhealthy that she couldn’t get off the bed. “It stopped my life completely,” she stated. She wanted an out. In 1997, she determined to depart modeling and moved to Woodstock, N.Y., earlier than ending up in Los Angeles in 2001, the place she enrolled in Santa Monica School to check artwork.

A Reclamation

On the eating desk, Ms. van Seenus shared her private assortment of the take a look at Polaroids taken of her all through her profession. There’s one by David Sims, one other by David LaChapelle. Mr. Friedlander affectionately referred to those youthful variations of Ms. van Seenus as “Child G.”

Ms. van Seenus entered the business as an adolescent. Quickly, her physique started to alter. Regardless of how a lot she labored out, how skinny she may whittle down her body, her hips have been nonetheless thought-about huge, her breasts full. In a single early take a look at Polaroid, Ms. van Seenus wears a bikini. Her ribs are strikingly seen.

“I keep in mind, they couldn’t run it,” she stated. She famous that the infinite commentary the business made about your physique — this a part of you is just too huge, that a part of you is just too small — could possibly be exhausting in its contradictions.

“Unexpectedly, you’re feeling like you don’t have any protecting barrier on the planet,” Ms. van Seenus stated. “You’re purported to be accessible to individuals. You need to defend your self and it begins to be this battle.” An imperfect vegan — “I do my greatest,” she stated — Ms. van Seenus has additionally refused to mannequin fur, which was as soon as perceived as a limitation.