L.A. Affairs: Who knew Home Depot was the most romantic place on Earth?

Shortly after I turned 70, my husband of almost 50 years died because of a significant stroke he’d suffered 13 months earlier. Our marriage had been rocky; twice I’d requested for a divorce, however every time we sought counseling and stayed collectively. I’m glad we did, since I used to be capable of turn out to be his part-time caregiver throughout his sickness.

Within the weeks and months after his passing, I targeted on time with mates, taking lessons (in opera and artwork historical past appreciation, and movie as literature), spending time with my daughter and her household, and having fun with my two grandchildren. Initially, that was sufficient. It took me about two years to really feel like I wished male companionship once more. I knew I didn’t wish to remarry and even stay with another person. I used to be pleased with my freedom and independence and the numerous actions I’d began participating in.

I simply wished a “good friend with advantages.”

I joined Jdate after which Match.com. I made it by a number of one-date experiences that might warrant their very own sitcom (or a “how-to-not” handbook).

One man clearly simply wished somebody to spend money on his new enterprise. I bought up and walked out of the lunch we’d been having at Las Brisas in Laguna Seashore.

One other date talked endlessly about his “kinky” intercourse life. He was sitting on my couch when he requested me if I favored being tied up and blindfolded. (It wasn’t that this stuff upset me as a lot as the truth that we’d solely began courting and had by no means even been intimate. It was approach too early for that type of discuss.) I requested him to go away.

I virtually went on a date with the fix-it man who got here to switch my kitchen faucet. He strung me alongside for some time earlier than lastly admitting he was married. I confirmed him the door after which employed another person to do the remainder of the roles in my apartment.

I had excessive hopes for an additional man. We went on our first date on New Yr’s Day 2020. We continued courting for a couple of months, however seeing one another throughout COVID-19 occasions once we couldn’t take pleasure in actions like motion pictures, eating places and different diversions made me notice that his “idiosyncrasies” had been really huge failings in his persona. (He was boring. He didn’t vote, cared little about politics. And I needed to do all of the planning; he by no means advised something.)

Finally, a couple of months into the shutdown, I broke up with him. I had no regrets. I didn’t need a relationship that supplied so little. I used to be happier being by myself once more. I took my profile off these two courting websites and sat out the remainder of the 12 months with no want to satisfy another person.

Because the pandemic precautions had been slowly lifted earlier this 12 months, nevertheless, I took an opportunity and joined a courting web site for the 50-plus set referred to as SilverSingles. I put up a couple of new pictures of myself and wrote what I believed was a superb profile.

Two residents who stay in the identical senior group as I do responded. I went out as soon as with every of them. There have been no sparks with the primary one. I made plans for an additional date with the second gentleman however realized he had an issue with being “in contact” between dates. He didn’t name, textual content or electronic mail me as soon as after our first date, so it was going to be a full eight days earlier than our deliberate second date. Once I despatched him a textual content asking why I hadn’t heard from him, he replied that he believed solely in face-to-face conversations. I instructed him that our second date was going to be like a primary date once more since we hadn’t progressed in attending to know one another.

I made a decision to interrupt that second date.

By this time, I had had sufficient. I used to be accomplished with on-line courting. However on the very day I went to delete my account for the final time, I discovered a brand new profile ready for me. His title was Mark. He appeared to have a twinkle in his eyes; his smile was boyish — broad and pure.

In his profile, he talked about issues that matched what I used to be on the lookout for in a relationship. Lots of his pursuits mirrored my very own; we each loved crops and gardening and getting out in nature. He adopted politics too. I despatched him a message. Not 20 minutes later, I acquired a pleasant response. Over the following few days and weeks, we might be taught that we had a lot in widespread. We’d even lived close to one another in L.A. at one level. We had been additionally capable of converse overtly about dropping our companions after a protracted marriage (he was divorced). Once I instructed him I hadn’t ridden a motorbike in years, he supplied to show me the way to take pleasure in biking once more. His humorousness got here pouring out in his phrases. I used to be charmed by him, as he was by me.

Earlier than lengthy, we deliberate our first date: I invited him for a stroll round Aliso Creek in South Orange County. Once we lastly met, we instantly, and with none shyness or hesitation, threw our arms round one another and hugged.

Though we’d deliberate solely a stroll that morning, we ended up going to lunch collectively and speaking for hours. Every part simply clicked. By the tip of that first date, we knew one thing particular had began. We had been on a quick observe to falling in love.

This all occurred just a little over eight months in the past. We agreed that, at our age, if the connection is an effective one, we should always embrace it and each second that comes our approach.

He’s transforming a brand new house, and far to my delight I’ve been constantly invited to assist him choose lights, sinks, taps and extra. By no means earlier than has Dwelling Depot been such a romantic place. No candles essential. A kiss whereas trying up at a doable ceiling fan to buy, holding arms whereas strolling down the bathroom aisle …

At 75, I’m having the time of my life giving and receiving love once more.

The writer writes a month-to-month column within the Globe, the native newspaper for the Laguna Woods Village retirement group, and has written many poems and brief tales.

L.A. Affairs chronicles the seek for romantic love in all its wonderful expressions within the L.A. space, and we wish to hear your true story. We pay $300 for a printed essay. Electronic mail LAAffairs@latimes.com. You will discover submission pointers right here. You will discover previous columns right here.