Lifestyle
Are You the Only One Who’s Broke? Or Is It ‘Money Dysmorphia’?
On Instagram feeds, martini glasses clink in what feels like a never-ending loop. Photo carousels from nights out show low-lit steakhouses, tartare and soufflés, Luxardo cherries. (What, in this economy, is screaming Luxardo cherries?) A roommate’s random co-worker is somehow lounging on yet another cabana in yet another tropical bathing suit. (Who owns that many bathing suits?) A co-worker’s random roommate is inexplicably trying out a new Bitcoin-powered bathhouse.
Just one click away is the news: flip-flopping on tariffs that could hit iPhones, T-shirts, backpacks and toothbrushes. There are wildly zigzagging red lines on market charts and somber television newscasters with panicked voices talking about retirement savings, which is angst-inducing even for people decades away from retirement.
“Phone-eats-first type of food, whatever viral sweater is going around on TikTok, the new work bag,” said Devin Walsh, 25, who lives in New York and works in marketing, listing the tempting purchases that flit across her Instagram, even, stubbornly, this past week. “Meanwhile, everyone is referencing the Great Depression.”
It’s a dizzying time to be a 20-something inundated by social media feeds flashing other people’s trips and restaurant reservations, which feel more over-the-top than ever, thanks to what trend forecasters call the “boom boom aesthetic.” It’s a recent embrace, by fashion labels, influencers and ordinary spenders, of lavish old-money consumption, like Gordon Gekko-inspired suits and endless (once verboten) furs.
Many young people are plagued by pangs of economic self-doubt, telling friends or therapists that they can’t keep up with the Joneses (and what the Joneses are posting on Instagram). Others are struggling to save, and then making impulse buys that leave them feeling anxious or guilty, that spending hangover from an “oh why not” pair of shoes.
“You see a social media post and you’re like, ‘Maybe I’m doing something wrong,’” said Veronica Holloway, 27, a data analyst who lives in Chicago. “Like somehow I must be being irresponsible if I’m not able to spend like this.”
The resulting unease is leading to what financial planners call “money dysmorphia.” A sibling of the term “body dysmorphia,” meaning people who look in the mirror and do not see what’s really there, it refers to people who have a distorted view of their own financial well-being. It’s a mind-bending split-screen view of reality.
“You’re in a position where you don’t believe you have enough money, even though the numbers say you’re OK,” said Aja Evans, a financial therapist with some clients who struggle with dysmorphia. “It’s easy for people to create a narrative around what they’re seeing online — they’re like, ‘Oh my God, everyone is going away for spring break, I’m the only one who is staying home.’”
These perceptions, unhinged from reality, lead some to hold back on spending unnecessarily. It could lead others to overspend, sometimes enabled by “buy now, pay later” technologies; the average Gen Z consumer holds roughly $3,500 in credit card debt, according to data from Experian. A 2024 study conducted by Qualtrics found that nearly a third of all Americans reported feeling money dysmorphia, including 43 percent of Gen Z.
For Ms. Holloway, this disquieting uncertainty about spending started in childhood, after both her parents lost their jobs in the 2008 financial crisis. Her family lived below the poverty line, she said. Ms. Holloway thought twice about even necessary expenses. When she bought a pair of $130 sneakers for her high school cross country team, she spent a week feeling sick to her stomach.
She has never been able to fully shake her worries, even now that she has a paycheck that more than covers her rent and meals. It does not help that her social media acts as a highlight reel of friends’ expenses, from flashy dinners to acrylic nails.
What’s known as the hemline theory says that when the economy becomes stronger, skirts lengths become shorter; boom times mean people want to party. A corollary that some economists and sociologists have found is that when the economy turns downward, tastes for little luxuries sometimes grow. During the 2008 financial crisis, some scholars reported seeing the “Lipstick Effect,” which was consumers spending more on small cosmetic items, perhaps as a way to feel slightly better about the state of the world, or at least about their faces. And in the early 1980s, when the economy cratered, fashion turned gaudy and over-the-top. One popular poster from the time shows a man in a tweed jacket and English riding pants leaning against a Rolls-Royce, cocktail glass in the air.
“That display of preppy-style wealth came during the worst economic recession since the 1930s,” said Douglas Rossinow, a historian and the author of “The Reagan Era.”
That tendency toward crisis-inflected lipstick spending has been layered on top of a financial reality that is already confusing for young people. For years, millennials were living with a warped sense of financial security because of venture capital money essentially subsidizing DoorDash deliveries and Uber rides. Social media invites people to post only their most hard-to-get dinner reservations and “White Lotus”-reminiscent beach travel. Now the economic picture is particularly uncertain, and the Instagram aesthetic is particularly luxurious.
“There was this more subdued, minimal norm-core look of the 2010s where people were trying to occlude their power or wealth — which came out of Silicon Valley and its casual approach to the workplace — that has fallen out of favor,” said the trend forecaster Sean Monahan.
Mr. Monahan, who coined the term “boom boom aesthetic” in December, has tracked a recent surge in posts of flashy finery: caviar bumps, broad-shouldered suits, Chateau Marmont parties, 1980s-style decadence. “People feel like they’re participating in status games very explicitly,” he said. “The social hierarchy is in flux.”
Dessie DiMino, a tech worker, notices when friends post pictures from ski resorts and music festivals. She has had to ratchet up the voice in her head reminding herself to save as she follows headlines about economic uncertainty and the tariffs that seemed poised to hit her daily spending, including grocery items like coffee beans and chocolate.
“I don’t want to just stop doing everything, but I know there are days I should really bite the bullet and stay home,” said Ms. DiMino, 27.
To Ms. Walsh, the marketing employee from New York, the draw toward prudence feels especially tricky for her generation because of the shared sense that they’re living under a cloud of incessant crisis — Covid-19, climate change, political turbulence. Sometimes, she tells her mother, it’s hard to muster the discipline to save when she keeps hearing that the sky is falling.
“We’re more inclined to spend frivolously because of this looming main character energy of ‘The world is going to end anyway,’” Ms. Walsh said. “What are we saving for?”
In February, she splurged on hosting a Valentine’s Day party in her Hell’s Kitchen apartment, spending hundreds of dollars on heart-shaped sunglasses that she mounted to the wall to feel like a Sunglass Hut, a sink filled with alcohol and a new $150 heart-printed dress. “Was it a rational use of funds?” she said. “Maybe not.”
Financial planners, especially those who work with young people, are trying to help clients who are feeling throttled by these economic shifts. Some of these clients are buying up new blazers and vacations as a balm for their broader sense of anxiety about where the economy is headed. Others are avoiding even reasonable purchases.
“I work with somebody who started cheaping out on groceries, even though her family’s financial future doesn’t hang on a trip to Whole Foods,” said Matt Lundquist, a therapist in Manhattan. “The inverse end of that is people being much more pleasure seeking — getting the Chanel bag, the ‘Oh forget it, I’ve been wanting these shoes.’”
Kara Pérez, who founded an organization that educates women on managing finances, has seen this uncertainty reshape her clients’ views on class. Some are overwhelmed by the affluence they see on social media, and it makes them lose sense of whether or not they are financially comfortable. Ms. Pérez said some clients whom she would describe as firmly middle class no longer saw themselves that way.
“A lot of people are like, ‘I’m not Kim Kardashian, I’m not Elon Musk, therefore I am broke,’” Ms. Pérez said.
Ms. Pérez also sees this sentiment in comments that users leave on her social media page. On TikTok, where Ms. Pérez calls herself a personal finance expert, she’s forgiving of those who reply to her posts amid the chaos of the moment, effectively saying: “There’s no point in saving babe, we’re not going to retire. It’s OK to spend extravagantly now.”
Lifestyle
This Pride month, teen flicks are recasting familiar tropes with a queer sensibility
Stacy Clausen and Joe Bird in Leviticus.
NEON
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NEON
Summer movies aimed at high-schoolers — comedies, romances, horror flicks — have been a tradition for ages. Think Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Dirty Dancing and the original Friday the 13th, which all drew hot-weather crowds back in the 1980s.
This summer, the movies are queer — not just in casting, but in method and purpose. These three teen flicks transform familiar movie styles by bringing them an LGBTQ sensibility.
A raunchy comedy: She’s the He
YouTube
You know the drill: a bonkers lose-my-virginity plan is hatched by inseparable high-school best buds who are so eager to get girls to notice them, they can hardly think straight.
So, they don’t think … straight. For reasons that could only make sense to horny 17-year-olds, Ethan and Alex decide the way to catch the attention of the school’s hottest girls is to pretend to be trans.
Filmmaker Siobhan McCarthy uses that premise to tell a sweet story about Ethan (who realizes mid-scam that she really is trans), while also mocking some of the more ridiculous transphobic notions — “bathroom scare,” anyone? — that have been politically weaponized recently.
When the whole football team decides that donning women’s attire is a small price to pay to get access to the girls’ locker room, McCarthy prompts boisterous laughs while also establishing how idiotic and unlikely this scenario would be in real life. Casting trans men — say, team captain played by Emmett Preciado — as the cis male characters allows McCarthy to further poke at conservative anxieties.
As leads Alex and Ethan, Nico Carney (a sharp trans comic whose read on toxic masculinity proves hilarious), and Misha Osherovich (sweetly affecting as Ethan discovers her true self) head a terrific, mostly trans and non-binary cast. And a similarly queer team behind the camera helps make She’s the He a raucous, touching, seriously fun charmer — think Some Like It Hot meets American Pie with a Heartstopper vibe.
The romance: Girls Like Girls
YouTube
This gentle teen love story sprang from a hit song Hayley Kiyoko released in 2015. The music video that accompanied the song pictured a budding lesbian romance and has since racked up over 160 million YouTube views. In 2023, Kiyoko penned a young adult book version, which debuted at the top of bestseller lists. Now, she’s brought all of those elements together in a movie about Coley (Maya da Costa) and Sonya (Myra Molloy), two 17-year-old girls navigating a summer romance that takes both of them by surprise.
First-time filmmaker Kiyoko seems content to honor teen romance conventions in a more or less by-the-book tale of first love that has been through enough permutations to feel vaguely workshopped. Still, she’s gotten engaging performances from her leads, as well as from a supporting cast that includes Zach Braff as a loving dad, and Levon Hawke (son of Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman) as Sonya’s jealous boyfriend.
The horror thriller: Leviticus
YouTube
First-time feature writer/director Adrian Chiarella uses horror conventions in this Australian thriller to explore the trauma caused by a particularly callous strain of homophobic cruelty. The story is centered in a small mill town where high school boys Naim (Joe Bird) and Ryan (Stacy Clausen) fall for each other, only to run afoul of the conservative teachings of their religious community.
Chiarella imagines a Christian sect that has put conversion therapy on steroids, curbing queer desire with a scare-away-the-gay ritual that conjures supernatural demons. The boys smirk as church leaders conduct the ritual, but later discover that when they’re left alone, they’re attacked by murderous entities that take the form of the person they love — each other. Soon, reaching out to — even just seeing each other in school hallways fills them with anxiety. This is, of course, the design: the church leaders want them to be scared. And it will never end.
It’s a conversion therapy metaphor as apt for gay kids as the metaphor in Jordan Peele’s thriller Get Out was for victims of racial bigotry.
Breathtakingly well-crafted, Leviticus clearly has queer teen audiences in mind — all three of these films do — but not exclusively. Yes, Leviticus fills a representation gap. It’s also freakin’ scary.


Lifestyle
L.A. Affairs: Would taking a trip with this new guy finally push us out of the ‘polite’ phase?
Sometimes compatibility unfolds over long conversations at coffee shops or even on the dance floor. Mine and Fernando’s became apparent on our seventh date, standing on a dark corner in downtown L.A. After a short flight, a day at Venice Beach and the fastest glow-up ever for a mom of three, my date opened his hands, sighed and canceled the glorious evening I’d planned. It was supposed to start with a jazz club and end with a tour of late-night sushi bars, until Fernando said, “I feel like a bummer.”
I hooked my arm through the crook of his, turning back toward the empty streets and our stuffy Airbnb.
A few weeks before, on one of our first dates, I’d told Fernando I was presenting at a conference in L.A. “You should join me,” I said, half joking.
“Really?” he asked. “You don’t know me at all.”
He was right. We were in the polite phase. We bonded over being transplants to Seattle — him from the Dominican Republic, me from Florida, but we were still figuring out the basics. I hadn’t learned yet that he never touches coffee but totally loves cake, my least favorite treat. And for me, espresso is a daily requirement.
Fernando didn’t say yes to my invitation right away. We continued to date, playing the questions game. “What’s your favorite snack?” he asked me.
“Mole tacos,” I said. “What’s your biggest flaw?”
“Follow through,” he said. “Yours?”
“I’m annoyingly persistent.”
“Perfect match,” he said.
The more we talked, the more we realized that our shortcomings, which made us look like exact opposites, came from the same root. His father had been barely present during childhood, and my father had died when I was a teenager. We both wrestled with trying to find agency inside of moments in our adult lives that felt like abandonment. Although we’d each been in therapy for years before we met, we also struggled to deal with disappointment.
“Maybe we should go on this wild trip together,” he said.
“Make-it-or-break-it style,” I said.
When we stepped through the door of our downtown L.A. Airbnb after a long, hot day walking the boardwalk, we had our first chance to manage a letdown, together.
“I think people actually live here,” he said.
“Like it’s 2015,” I said.
We’d made a commitment before we flew out to keep things light. If one of us complained, the other was supposed to say something fun. But the apartment was muggy, the surfaces covered in dust. We made exaggerated, positive comments about the vintage decor as I waited for the water to warm in a huge, clawfoot tub.
Fernando said something about getting in while the shower was still cold, so we could preserve water for the good people of California. I noted the fatherly tone — and realized I probably seemed wasteful for resisting the chilly stream during a drought.
While I bathed, he shaved. Then we switched. “I feel shy but not shy,” Fernando said, and I agreed. I wondered if this would be the first of many small, sweet moments — or if it was the only time we’d ever share this kind of intimacy.
We were finally ready for our night on the town, but we only walked six blocks before Fernando turned to me and told me that he was too tired to keep going.
“I owe you,” he said, as we walked back, but I was wiped too and relieved he said it first.
“What if we do something different and call it exciting?” I asked.
We talked about the absolute thrill of ordering takeout in a city that was 30 degrees warmer than the one where we both lived, listing every little thing that was totally amazing around us. All those closed-down garages that would open in the morning selling fabric? Gorgeous.
The dark streetlights on one side of the road that made the shadows look like a modern noir film? Fabulous.
The fact that we were about to fall asleep in the same city as dozens of celebrities we both adored? Relatively meaningless but still badass.
As we ate our to-go sushi in downtown L.A., I realized I wasn’t disappointed at all. My drive to follow through was all about the mission, and our mission had changed. Instead of wooing my new date with a super swanky night on the town, I had the opportunity to connect with him in a real way.
Our trip to L.A. had become a kind of test, way more intense than agreeing on a sofa or building an IKEA shelf. We were stuck spending time with each other without performing, in a strange city, for days.
After I presented at the conference the next morning, Fernando and I moved to a new rental in the Hollywood Hills, where we found our way to endless taco stands and two speakeasies, Good Times at Davey Wayne’s and Adults Only. The only landmark we saw was Muscle Beach, and the only quintessential L.A. thing we did was accidentally find ourselves in front of the Last Bookstore an hour before we needed to head to the airport, so we spent that hour walking around inside.
“Let’s keep traveling,” we said to each other on the way home.
Seven years and dozens of trips later, I engraved “I will travel with you” on the inside of our wedding rings. The night before our wedding, we stood together in a tiny bathroom in his sister’s house in the Dominican Republic, washing our faces. I looked at him in the mirror. He turned and looked at me. “I’m really glad you invited me to Los Angeles,” he said.
“It was a risk,” I said, “and the best trip ever.”
The city isn’t ours, but it made us who we are, together.
The author is a journalist and illustrator working on a memoir about Florida. She splits her time between her Seattle, L.A. and the Deep South. Her Instagram is @adjsbb and website is AshaDore.net.
L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.
Lifestyle
What does freedom actually look like? : It’s Been a Minute
What freedom looks like today.
Getty Images/Viktoriia Miroshnikova/Photo illustration by NPR
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What does freedom mean today?
Happy Juneteenth! For those not in the know, today commemorates when U.S. federal troops arrived in Galveston, Texas in 1865 to take control of the state and ensure that all enslaved people were freed – a full two and a half years after the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation. Since then, Juneteenth has been celebrated all over the country, especially in Texas and across the South, where Juneteenth parades, cookouts, festivals and pageants happen every year. Two weeks from now, the country will celebrate the Fourth of July – and its 250th anniversary. For many Black Americans, there’s always been a tension between these holidays – and their two different ideals for what it means to be free. As voting rights protections are rolled back and Black history is being scrubbed from government websites, what does freedom look like for Black Americans today?
To get into it, Brittany is joined by Dr. Kellie Carter Jackson, chair of Africana Studies at Wellesley College.
For more episodes about the quality of Black life in America, check out:
Jesse Jackson & the end of the civil rights superhero
Is the economy slowing? Ask Black women.
What to expect when you’re expecting racism
Support Public Media. Join NPR Plus.
Follow Brittany on Instagram: @bmluse
For handpicked podcast recommendations every week, subscribe to NPR’s Pod Club newsletter at npr.org/podclub.
This episode was produced by Corey Antonio Rose and Liam McBain. It was edited by Neena Pathak. We had engineering support from Josephine Nyounai. Our Supervising Producer is Cher Vincent. Our Executive Producer is Barton Girdwood. Our VP of Programming is Yolanda Sangweni.
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