Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Monster High: The Movie’ on Paramount+, a Live-Action-Musical Spinoff of the Pun-Laden Toy/Media Franchise

Monster Excessive: The Film (now on Paramount+) is the newest product churned out – with INTENSE PASSION I’m certain – by the company entities behind the billion-dollar Monster Excessive fashion-doll/multimedia/misc.-merch empire. Hooray for company conglomerates and their advertising groups! Which isn’t to say that this explicit work is extra of the identical – it marks two franchise firsts, by deviating from animation and going full-hog into the realm of live-action musicals, and for being a feature-length film. Then again, no one of their proper thoughts goes to argue that it appeals to anybody however the preset tween demographic, ideally these whose households can afford to purchase a bunch of branded crap throughout the subsequent journey to Wal Mart.

The Gist: Warning: REBOOT PENDING. We meet Clawdeen Wolf (Miia Harris) as she’s doing a little completely tubular methods at a skatepark. It is because she’s a werewolf, and werewolves have larger dexterity and bodily energy than people! And that distinction makes her an outcast within the human world. Why does she stay within the human world? Effectively, her late mother was a werewolf and her dad is human – however then she will get accepted into Monster Excessive, the place her mother was an esteemed pupil. That is nice! Besides it means she has to cover her human aspect lest she be expelled. Thus established is a dilly of a pickle of a conundrum: At Monster Excessive, monsters are allowed to be their full selves, however people aren’t allowed. Is that this a metaphor for institutional range challenges? Does it expose the necessity for issues to vary there? Will Clawdeen have something to do with that? NO SPOILERS.

Anyway. Clawdeen walks into Monster Excessive on her first day and all people breaks into tune. Then we meet a bunch of characters: Frankie Stein (Ceci Balagot), a 16-day-old creation with they/them pronouns and physique components belonging to varied geniuses, and Draculaura (Nayah Damasen), daughter of esteemed alum Dracula, are her roomies. Cleo De Nile (Jy Prishkulnik) is an unwrapped Egyptian mummy, and likewise the native imply woman. Deuce Gorgon (Case Walker), son of Medusa, is Cleo’s suuuuper cuuuuuute ex. Lagoona (Lina Lecompte) is kind of a fishy gill-person, I feel? Ghoulia (Lilah Fitzgerald) is a zombie, and Mr. Komos (Kyle Selig) is a demon and hello-fellow-kids cool-teacher wannabe, and Headmistress Bloodgood (Marci T. Home) runs the entire shebang and has a removable head, GET IT? HEAD-mistress? Oh golly, the puns on this film. So many puns. With out the puns, it might collapse right into a black gap.

Some stuff goes on on this film. A few of it includes Clawdeen reverting to human type when she will get indignant or scared, which is an issue. Bloodgood enlists her to present a speech at an alumni dinner. Deuce exhibits an curiosity in being mates together with her, oh boy. Draculaura is secretly working towards witchcraft, which is verboten at college. Frankie is totes socs awkws and tries to make mates by becoming a member of eight social-media platforms. Komos provides a historical past lesson on Mr. Hyde, who was the varsity’s solely half-human, half-monster pupil, prompting Clawdeen to do a little analysis on the man, who had a hidden lab on campus and concocted a potion that might completely flip himself right into a monster and sizzling canine! You seein’ what I’m seein’? After numerous fertin’ round, we lastly received ourselves a plot right here! Will Clawdeen make herself 100% monster earlier than her subterfuge is uncovered, or will she study to simply accept herself for who she is, or what? I says to you I says, NO SPOILERS.

What Motion pictures Will It Remind You Of?: Monster Excessive: The Film is like Bratz crossed with Excessive Faculty Musical if it was set at Hogwarts and as soon as was briefly in the identical room whereas a Guillermo del Toro film was enjoying.

Efficiency Price Watching: I favored Belagot as Frankie – they discover a little bit traction in a personality who’s naive but additionally extremely sensible (they received Turing’s cerebral cortex), and their efficiency leans into all this silliness with out pounding house all these groanworthy jokes with a ball peen hammer.

Memorable Dialogue: Three Cleo-related humdingers:

“She’s received mummy points.”

“Don’t Cleopatronize me.”

“Oh my gauze!”

Intercourse and Pores and skin: None.

Our Take: I’m sorry to report that the segregationist metaphor doesn’t take notably deep root right here. No, Monster Excessive: The Film is a shallow swamp content material to slosh round in primary concepts about self-acceptance, range and accepting others’ completely different beliefs with out ever being notably substantive. You gained’t be shocked to study that main conflicts are resolved with sufficient fuss to make it virtually attention-grabbing, however not sufficient to make it too attention-grabbing. Wouldn’t wish to take too robust of a stand on something if you’ve received so many product strains to promote throughout the spooky-season and vacation client corridors!

Not that anybody expects something extra from a Monster Excessive joint, as a result of all of that is conceptualized, crafted and polished in advertising boardrooms anyway. The performances and writing are Very TV; the musical bits are fantastic, simply fantastic; the character and set design are goofy and colourful; there’s a third-act twist that you simply’ll NEVER see coming, like EVER. That’s the respectable stuff. Much less so are the just-shut-up-already speaking villain, sufficient godawful puns to slay gobs of kittens in chilly, chilly blood, and that annoying sequel-tease. I haven’t the data or context to handle any disparities between this live-action effort and the unique animated sequence, the reboot of the animated sequence, the reboot of the reboot of the animated sequence (coming quickly to Paramount+!), the video video games or the books, however suffice to say, it’s completely different and a few followers can be fantastic with it, and a few gained’t. Those that aren’t fantastic with it are inspired to lodge a grievance, and will type a line alongside the left hand path.

Our Name: That is nonetheless higher – and the jokes extra refined – than Rob Zombie’s The Munsters. STREAM IT, except you’re not between the ages of 9-14 or have by no means cosplayed as Lagoona or Bloodgood at Comedian-Con.

John Serba is a contract author and movie critic primarily based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Learn extra of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com.