‘Are We Having Fun Yet?’

Like being asphyxiated in a ball pit filled with candy, the experience of watching The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is at once kaleidoscopic and nerve-wracking. It pantomimes the hallmarks of a good time, with a fast, forced cheeriness; the flashing lights, bright colors, sparkly design, and subplot-happy narrative are there to hold our attention and charm us, but they accomplish the opposite, instead making us worry about what we’re missing. At one point there’s a throwaway bit involving a roller coaster that dives into a pit of lava, eventually emerging with all its passengers transformed into happy skeletons; maybe we are supposed to be those happy skeletons, drained of life and loving it. The good news (or is it the bad news?) is that this is a kids’ movie and nobody cares what “we” think. Its predecessor, 2023’s Super Mario Bros. Movie, made more than $1.3 billion worldwide, and no one should be surprised if this one does something similar.

That first movie wasn’t particularly accomplished either, but it had a slick simplicity that one could sort of lose oneself in and some clever bits involving our heroes, Brooklyn plumber brothers Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day), as well as a lively turn by Jack Black as the bloviating turtle-demon Bowser. The sequel, by contrast, is turbo-loaded with character, incident, themes, never pausing to let us appreciate anything. Though directors Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic do apparently want us to care: The Super Mario Galaxy Movie centers around families destroyed and reclaimed, a sentence I can’t believe I just typed. The film’s chief villain, the spasmodic Bowser Jr. (voiced by Benny Safdie), seeks to save his father, the now-docile Bowser, from neutered captivity. As part of his devious plan (I think?), Junior kidnaps Princess Rosalina (Brie Larson) from her space-faring observatory dominion, where she plays mother to a race of puffy, colorful star children known as Lumas. Rosalina loves to read her kids heroic stories about Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy), her long-lost sister, ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom and Mario’s main object of desire. Such attempts to infuse depth into the film’s carnivalesque cacophony could have been something, but corporate flatness consumes all. The ideas about family aren’t explored or developed, merely repeated.

But like I said, it’s a kids’ film, and younger children will be distracted by the aforementioned cute little star-baby things, by the cute little mushroom-head guys, by the frantic speed at which everything comes at us, and by the film’s vision of the universe as a series of amusement parks, with each world in this galaxy seemingly its own funfair. If only all this chaos didn’t feel so strained, so polished and programmed, so, so … unchaotic. The movie is also filled with Easter eggs from many decades’ worth of Mario video games, which will surely reassure devoted fans of those games that all is right with the world and someone loves them. (Full disclosure: I haven’t played any of them. Back when I was a kid and had to cold turkey myself from video games entirely, I’m pretty sure Donkey Kong was as far as I got in the incipient Mario universe.) The best of these aforementioned callouts is the appearance of the Han Solo–like Star Fox (voiced by Glen Powell), a character from a different set of Nintendo games, who arrives accompanied by his own hand-animated, hyper credit sequence. More of that, please.

Of the rest of the star-laden voice cast, Safdie and Black are the only others who make an impression. As before, Bowser has been realized with an eye (and an ear) for Black’s own grandiose, mock-operatic mannerisms, and Safdie seems to have appropriated them for the character’s offspring. Black, of course, was also the star of last year’s entertaining hit A Minecraft Movie, which got a ton of mileage out of the actor’s unique mix of irony and roaring sincerity, using him to hold together its ramshackle, faux-DIY vibe. That film was a good example of this type of material handled with something resembling charm. We could also point to something older like The LEGO Movie as a model of a brand-management enterprise that managed to be irreverent and thoughtful (and, indeed, brilliant) at the same time. All The Super Mario Galaxy Movie has, unfortunately, is the messianic fervor with which it throws everything at us. Well, that, and the mountains of money it will surely make. Me, I’ll take my travel stipend and go home.