Culture
Is Kane in danger of becoming England's Ronaldo?
We need to talk about Harry Kane.
England are in the semi-finals of another major tournament. But their captain, leader, talisman, front man and greatest ever goalscorer looks about as mobile as an arthritic scarecrow.
OK. That’s harsh. He’s scored two goals in their five games at the European Championship so far, the service into him has generally ranged from mediocre to non-existent and it looks like he is struggling for fitness. But there are clearly questions to be asked here.
Questions like: just how fit is he? What is he currently bringing to the team? And is he now England’s Cristiano Ronaldo?
In previous years, that last question would have been a gushing compliment, but in 2024 it verges on criticism — a suggestion that Kane is being kept in the team based on reputation alone and that his manager lacks the courage to make a difficult decision. But could that really be true?
The fitness question feels like the most pertinent, given that a fit and in-form Kane is undoubtedly one of the best strikers in the world.
Well, he has been fit enough to start all of England’s matches at the Euros, playing 464 minutes, completing two matches and being subbed off in three (in the 70th minute against Denmark in the middle group game, the 105th versus Slovakia in the round of 16 and the 109th against Switzerland in Saturday’s quarter-final).
He came into the tournament carrying a back injury sustained towards the end of the club season with Bayern Munich, which then head coach Thomas Tuchel called a “complete blockade”, foreshadowing an accurate description of England’s current attack. “It’s got worse and bothers him in everyday movements,” Tuchel said in May.
Kane received treatment from his personal medical team in a bid to get fit for the tournament and, while he has started all five matches, the eye test suggests he is performing at far from his free-flowing best, which is when he can seamlessly and gracefully be a team’s creator and finisher, within split seconds. He looks incapable of that right now.
Harry Kane has not produced his best form at Euro 2024 (Stefan Matzke – sampics/Getty Images)
In an England shirt this summer, his movement is uncomfortable, clunky and stunted (for an attempted volley in the final group match against Slovenia, his body shape looked almost contorted), his link-play is weaker as a result and he is lacking the vigour and zip to beat defenders to forward balls and crosses into the box.
England head coach Gareth Southgate appeared to attempt to engineer an injury to Kane so he would have an excuse to drop him when the pair collided late on in the Switzerland game (this is a joke, don’t call me rude names in the comments) which caused Kane to suffer with cramp, but although he was substituted soon after, he says he’ll be fit for Wednesday’s semi-final against the Netherlands.
“I’m fine. I was just tired,” said Kane, who turns 31 later this month. “I had a bit of cramp there. I tripped over the water bottles and got cramp in both calves. The boss made a quick decision obviously, with Ivan (Toney, who came on for him) a proven penalty-taker. He came on and did the job.”
For Portugal, 39-year-old Ronaldo proved undroppable and near-unsubbable in this tournament (he was replaced after 66 minutes against Georgia, though as his team were already through to the knockout phase before that final group match and did make eight other changes, it could be questioned why he played at all) as they went out at the same last-eight stage to France, also on penalties.
GO DEEPER
England’s change of shape against Switzerland worked – to a point – thanks to Bukayo Saka
Kane, while not possessing Ronaldo’s ego, has a similar status for England — one burnished by his 44 goals in 45 appearances for new club Bayern last season (while Ronaldo was playing in the Saudi Pro League, of course). But Southgate has, given time, proved more than capable of making bold decisions, such as dropping Marcus Rashford, Mason Mount, Jack Grealish and two of his former staunch favourites in Raheem Sterling and Jordan Henderson.
Leaving Kane out of the starting team on Wednesday would be a bombshell to trump all of the above combined.
It almost certainly won’t happen. But should it?
What was striking against Switzerland was just how little Kane got involved in England’s build-up play.
Yes, he would stretch the Swiss back line and yes, he would come deep to receive the ball, but as this connection graphic reflecting England’s passing moves shows, Kane (you can find him near the centre circle) was very much the odd man out:
It is not too uncommon for a team’s central striker not to have strong connections when it comes to these graphics, but it is telling how little involvement Kane had against Switzerland.
In that way, he was similar to Ronaldo, who was equally anonymous for Portugal in their quarter-final on Friday:
It is nothing new for Kane to drop deep — he’s been doing it for years, and to great effect — but his low number of touches in the opposition third against Switzerland are another indicator of his lack of sharpness:
Sometimes, he clearly goes too deep, even into full-back areas, and can get in the way at times when England would surely be better served with more of a fixed focal point up front, especially if Kane’s current fitness levels aren’t anywhere near as high as usual.
There’s certainly an argument to say that staying up on the last line of the opposition defence is more helpful to pin their centre-backs and make space between the lines for team-mates such as Phil Foden, Jude Bellingham and Bukayo Saka to exploit — like in this example against Denmark, where Foden and Bellingham can slip in-behind their midfield.
But if that is to be Kane’s primary function, there are other, fitter, fresher players in the squad who can do it, and do so while offering England more in terms of being able to press or run in behind.
“He’s not going to drop Harry Kane,” former England international turned leading UK pundit Gary Neville said of Southgate on Sky Sports following the Swiss game. “He’s one of his leaders, one of the greatest England football players we’ve ever had. There’s no doubt he’s not been at his absolute best at this tournament but neither has the team. The service in to him isn’t great.
GO DEEPER
Buddy system, Pickford bottle, crucial pauses: England penalties vs Switzerland analysed
“(Kane should) Stay high, in between those two centre-backs and then drop in a little bit to try and draw those centre-backs in, to allow the runs to go back in behind.
“He doesn’t look himself. He doesn’t look as sharp when the ball’s played in to him, in and around the box. He doesn’t seem to be able to get his touch and his shot off like he ordinarily would do, but he isn’t going to be dropped unless he’s injured.”
With Toney making a positive impact from the bench in both knockout games and Ollie Watkins able to offer different traits to both Kane and Toney in terms of pace, pressing and runs in behind, there is an argument to be made, a debate to be had.
It’s probably a redundant one, given Kane’s status, his relationship with Southgate (he is believed to have the England manager’s ear, and vice versa), his experience, temperament and obvious goalscoring ability, 100 per fitness or not.
Tournaments have been won by teams with ineffective strikers before.
Portugal played with Ronaldo and Nani as split strikers in their defence-minded Euro 2016 triumph, France had a non-scoring Olivier Giroud as their striker when they won the 2018 World Cup (he didn’t even register a shot on target despite playing in all seven games and starting six of them), and had done exactly the same with lone, goalless striker Stephane Guivarc’h when winning the same competition 20 years earlier.
The difference was all those players were fit, and their contribution was sizeable to teams that were, in France’s case at least, still scoring goals.
But England are edging through their games in Germany unconvincingly, and for long periods in them just don’t look like scoring. They’re not generating momentum, their expected goal numbers tallies are low and they are relying on moments, like Bellingham’s overhead kick and Saka’s perfect shot — equalisers, against Slovakia and Switzerland respectively, which came in the 95th and 80th minutes respectively and were England’s first efforts on target in the match.
If these sentences don’t read like a recipe to win a tournament, well, they probably aren’t.
England have made the last four but to lift the trophy next Sunday in Berlin they surely need Kane at somewhere approaching his best; if he isn’t capable of that, it may be sacrilege to say it, but they would probably be better off with someone else up front, especially if the striker’s primary role is to occupy defenders.
GO DEEPER
England are not convincing, but who cares? It’s time to just enjoy the ride
(Top photos: Getty Images)
Whatever you do, don’t think of a bird.
Now: What kind of bird are you not thinking about? A pigeon? A bald eagle? Something more poetic, like a skylark or a nightingale? In any case, would you say that this bird you aren’t thinking about is real?
Before you answer, read this poem, which is quite literally about not thinking of a bird.
Human consciousness is full of riddles. Neuroscientists, philosophers and dorm-room stoners argue continually about what it is and whether it even exists. For Wallace Stevens, the experience of having a mind was a perpetual source of wonder, puzzlement and delight — perfectly ordinary and utterly transcendent at the same time. He explored the mysteries and pleasures of consciousness in countless poems over the course of his long poetic career. It was arguably his great theme.
Stevens was born in 1879 and published his first book, “Harmonium,” in 1923, making him something of a late bloomer among American modernists. For much of his adult life, he worked as an executive for the Hartford Accident and Indemnity Company, rising to the rank of vice president. He viewed insurance less as a day job to support his poetry than as a parallel vocation. He pursued both activities with quiet diligence, spending his days at the office and composing poems in his head as he walked to and from work.
As a young man, Stevens dreamed of traveling to Europe, though he never crossed the Atlantic. In middle age he made regular trips to Florida, and his poems are frequently infused with ideas of Paris and Rome and memories of Key West. Others partake of the stringent beauty of New England. But the landscapes he explores, wintry or tropical, provincial or cosmopolitan, are above all mental landscapes, created by and in the imagination.
Are those worlds real?
Let’s return to the palm tree and its avian inhabitant, in that tranquil Key West sunset of the mind.
Until then, we find consolation in fangles.
When the director Rob Reiner cast his leads in the 1986 film “Stand by Me,” he looked for young actors who were as close as possible to the personalities of the four children they’d be playing. There was the wise beyond his years kid from a rough family (River Phoenix), the slightly dim worrywart (Jerry O’Connell), the cutup with a temper (Corey Feldman) and the sensitive, bookish boy.
Wil Wheaton was perfect for that last one, Gordie Lachance, a doe-eyed child who is ignored by his family in favor of his late older brother. Now, 40 years later, he’s traveling the country to attend anniversary screenings of the film, alongside O’Connell and Feldman, which has thrown him back into the turmoil that he felt as an adolescent.
Wheaton has channeled those emotions and his on-set memories into his latest project: narrating a new audiobook version of “The Body,” the 1982 Stephen King novella on which the film was based.
A few years ago, Wheaton started to float the idea of returning to the story that gave him his big break — that of a quartet of boys in 1959 Oregon, in their last days before high school, setting out to find a classmate’s dead body. “I’ve been telling the story of ‘Stand By Me’ since I was 12 years old,” he said.
But this time was different. Wheaton, who has narrated dozens of audiobooks, including Andy Weir’s “The Martian” and Ernest Cline’s “Ready Player One,” says he has come to enjoy narration more than screen acting. “I’m safe, I’m in the booth, nobody’s looking at me and I can just tell you a story.”
The fact that he, an older man looking back on his younger years, is narrating a story about an older man looking back on his younger years, is not lost on Wheaton. King’s original story is bathed in nostalgia. Coming to terms with death and loss is one of its primary themes.
Two days after appearing on stage at the Academy Awards as part of a tribute to Reiner — who was murdered in 2025 alongside his wife, Michele — Wheaton got on the phone to talk about recording the audiobook, reliving his favorite scenes from the film and reexamining a quintessential story of childhood loss through the lens of his own.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
“I felt really close to him, and my memory of him.”
Wheaton on channeling a co-star’s performance.
There’s this wonderful scene in “Stand By Me.” Gordie and Chris are walking down the tracks talking about junior high. Chris is telling Gordie, “I wish to hell I was your dad, because I care about you, and he obviously doesn’t.”
It’s just so honest and direct, in a way that kids talk to each other that adults don’t. And I think that one of the reasons that really sticks with people, and that piece really lands on a lot of audiences, and has for 40 years, is, just too many people have been Gordie in that scene.
That scene is virtually word for word taken from the text of the book. And when I was narrating that, I made a deliberate choice to do my best to recreate what River did in that scene.
“You’re just a kid,
Gordie–”
“I wish to fuck
I was your father!”
he said angrily.
“You wouldn’t go around
talking about takin those stupid shop courses if I was!
It’s like
God gave you something,
all those stories
you can make up, and He said:
This is what we got for you, kid.
Try not to lose it.
But kids lose everything
unless somebody looks out for them and if your folks
are too fucked up to do it
then maybe I ought to.”
I watched that scene a couple of times because I really wanted — I don’t know why it was so important to me to — well, I know: because I loved him, and I miss him. And I wanted to bring him into this as best as I could, right?
So I was reading that scene, and the words are identical to the script. And I had this very powerful flashback to being on the train tracks that day in Cottage Grove, Oregon. And I could see River standing next to them. They’re shooting my side of the scene and there’s River, right next to the camera, doing his off-camera dialogue, and there’s the sound guy, and there’s the boom operator. There’s my key light.
I could hear and feel it. It was the weirdest thing. It’s like I was right back there.
I was able to really take in the emotional memory of being Gordie in all of those scenes. So when I was narrating him and I’m me and I’m old with all of this experience, I just drew on what I remembered from being that little boy and what I remember of those friendships and what they meant to me and what they mean to me today.
“Rob gave me a gift. Rob gave me a career.”
Wheaton recalls the “Stand By Me” director’s way with kids on set, as well as his recent Oscars tribute.
Rob really encouraged us to be kids.
Jerry tells the most amazing story about that scene, where we were all sitting around, and doing our bit, and he improvised. He was just goofing around — we were just playing — and he said something about spitting water at the fat kid.
We get to the end of the scene, and he hears Rob. Rob comes around from behind the thing, and he goes, “Jerry!” And Jerry thinks, “Oh no, I’m in trouble. I’m in trouble because I improvised, and I’m not supposed to improvise.”
The context for Jerry is that he had been told by the adults in his life, “Sit on your hands and shut up. Stop trying to be a cutup. Stop trying to be funny. Stop disrupting people. Just be quiet.” And Jerry thinks, “Oh my God. I didn’t shut up. I’m in trouble. I’m gonna get fired.”
Rob leans in to all of us, and Rob says, “Hey, guys, do you see that? More of that. Do that!”
The whole time when you’re a kid actor, you’re just around all these adults who are constantly telling you to grow up. They’re mad that you’re being a kid. Rob just created an environment where not only was it supported that we would be kids — and have fun, and follow those kid instincts and do what was natural — it was expected. It was encouraged. We were supposed to do it.
They chanted together:
“I don’t shut up,
I grow up.
And when I look at you I throw up.”
“Then your mother goes around the corner
and licks it up,”
I said, and hauled ass out of there,
giving them the finger over my shoulder as I went.
I never had any friends later on
like the ones I had when I was twelve.
Jesus, did you?
When we were at the Oscars, I looked at Jerry. And we looked at this remarkable assemblage of the most amazingly talented, beautiful artists and storytellers. We looked around, and Jerry leans down, and he said, “We all got our start with Rob Reiner. He trusted every single one of us.”
And to stand there for him, when I really thought that I would be standing with him to talk about this stuff — it was a lot.
“I was really really really excited — like jumping up and down.”
The scene Wheaton was most looking forward to narrating: the tale of Lard Ass Hogan.
I was so excited to narrate it. It’s a great story! It’s a funny story. It’s such a lovely break — it’s an emotional and tonal shift from what’s happening in the movie.
I know this as a writer: You work to increase and release tension throughout a narrative, and Stephen King uses humor really effectively to release that tension. But it also raises the stakes, because we have these moments of joy and these moments of things being very silly in the midst of a lot of intensity.
That’s why the story of Lard Ass Hogan is so fun for me to tell. Because in the middle of that, we stop to do something that’s very, very fun, and very silly and very celebratory.
“Will you shut up and let him tell it?”
Teddy hollered.
Vern blinked.
“Sure. Yeah.
Okay.”
“Go on, Gordie,”
Chris said. “It’s not really much—”
“Naw,
we don’t expect much from a wet end like you,”
Teddy said,
“but tell it anyway.”
I cleared my throat. “So anyway.
It’s Pioneer Days,
and on the last night
they have these three big events.
There’s an egg-roll for the little kids and a sack-race for kids that are like eight or nine,
and then there’s the pie-eating contest.
And the main guy of the story
is this fat kid nobody likes
named Davie Hogan.”
When I narrate this story — whenever there is a moment of levity or humor, whenever there are those brief little moments that are the seasoning of the meal that makes it all so real and relatable — yes, it was very important to me to capture those moments.
I’m shifting in my chair, so I can feel each of those characters. It’s something that doesn’t exist in live action. It doesn’t exist in any other media.
“I feel the loss.”
Wheaton remembers River Phoenix.
The novella “The Body” is very much about Gordie remembering Chris. It’s darker, and it’s more painful, than the movie is.
I’ve been watching the movie on this tour and seeing River a lot. I remember him as a 14- and 15-year-old kid who just seemed so much older, and so much more experienced and so much wiser than me, and I’m only a year younger than him.
What hurts me now, and what I really felt when I was narrating this, is knowing what River was going through then. We didn’t know. I still don’t know the extent of how he was mistreated, but I know that he was. I know that adults failed him. That he should have been protected in every way that matters. And he just wasn’t.
And I, like Gordie, remember a boy who was loving. So loving, and generous and cared deeply about everyone around him, all the time. Who deserved to live a full life. Who had so much to offer the world. And it’s so unfair that he’s gone and taken from us. I had to go through a decades-long grieving process to come to terms with him dying.
Near the end
of 1971,
Chris
went into a Chicken Delight in Portland
to get a three-piece Snack Bucket.
Just ahead of him,
two men started arguing
about which one had been first in line. One of them pulled a knife.
Chris,
who had always been the best of us
at making peace,
stepped between them and was stabbed in the throat.
The man with the knife had spent time in four different institutions;
he had been released from Shawshank State Prison
only the week before.
Chris died almost instantly.
It is a privilege that I was allowed to tell this story. I get to tell Gordie Lachance’s story as originally imagined by Stephen King, with all of the experience of having lived my whole adult life with the memory of spending three months in Gordie Lachance’s skin.
Welcome to Great Adaptations, the Book Review’s regular multiple-choice quiz about printed works that have gone on to find new life as movies, television shows, theatrical productions and more. This week’s challenge highlights offbeat television shows that began as comic books. Just tap or click your answers to the five questions below. And scroll down after you finish the last question for links to the comics and their screen versions.
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