Crypto
It’s the bitcoin boom, baby! I’m bailing on Beanie Babies and investing bigly! | Opinion
I haven’t been this excited about obtaining oil-baron-level wealth since the Beanie Babies boom of the mid-1990s.
Bitcoin hits $100,000 amid optimism over Trump’s crypto plans
Bitcoin has finally hit $100,000. The landmark was reached amid expectations of a friendlier U.S. regulatory approach to cryptocurrencies under U.S. President-elect Donald Trump.
Great news, fellow dream chasers! Bitcoin is booming and we are all going to be rich!
If you pay attention to mainstream media sources (I don’t), you’ve probably seen headlines like “Bitcoin tops $100,000 as monster 2024 rally reaches new heights” and “Bitcoin breaks $100,000 barrier amid post-election cryptocurrency surge.”
USA TODAY reported: “The price of bitcoin surpassed $100,000 for the first time Thursday amid expectations that Donald Trump will create a friendly regulatory environment for cryptocurrencies when he heads to the White House next year.”
WOO-HOOOO! It’s raining difficult-to-comprehend cryptocurrency that is apparently rooted in nothing but vibes but somehow still exists, according to the anonymous person or persons who created it! Hallelujah!
From Beanie Babies to bitcoin, baby! Let’s get rich.
I haven’t been this excited about obtaining oil-baron-level wealth since the Beanie Babies boom of the mid-1990s.
Back then we were taking sharp investment advice from people who predicted unprecedented returns on plush stuffed animals with names like Nip the Cat, Inky the Octopus and Bongo the Monkey. They knew what they were talking about, as evidenced by my three mortgages and the 37 large plastic bins filled with Beanie Babies that I call my “attic-based retirement.”
But now the bitcoin craze is buoyed by even-more reliable people: con artists. Chief among them, of course, is President-elect Donald Trump, who has made a fortune and become leader of the free world by persuading people to spend $30 on cheap-looking red hats.
If you can’t count on Donald Trump for investment advice, who can you trust?
Trump is all in on crypto, and he touted the bitcoin news Thursday on his social media site, Truth Social: “CONGRATULATIONS BITCOINERS!!! $100,000!!! YOU’RE WELCOME!!!”
Over the first three quarters of this year, Truth Social made $2.6 million in revenue while losing $363 million, and its stock was trading Thursday at about $34 a share compared with the $66-per-share high in March after it hit the stock market. Needless to say, I will walk through fire to follow Trump’s rock-solid instincts and investing advice.
Trump ally Elon Musk, famous both for paying way too much for Twitter so he could destroy it and for creating the overpriced electric car presently burning in my driveway, is also a strong crypto advocate, and he doesn’t seem at all weird or volatile.
If Trump, Musk and Ramaswamy tell me to buy bitcoin, I’m in!
Same with Vivek Ramaswamy, who Trump has paired with Musk to form the made-up Department of Government Efficiency, which is an acronymic reference to “Dogecoin,” which is another type of pretend currency I don’t need to understand to believe in.
The fast-talking Ramaswamy doesn’t sound at all like someone who would show up on a late-night informational and try to sell me a “forward mortgage” to go with my “reverse mortgage,” or a knockoff ShamWow.
So you better believe I’m going to follow the lead of these not-at-all-self-serving billionaires and ignore the so-called experts and Nobel-prize-winning economists out there saying bitcoin is wildly risky.
Just because bitcoin sounds like a scam and looks like a scam …
Did the U.S. Justice Department seize more than $112 million linked to crypto investment schemes last year? Perhaps.
And did federal prosecutor Martin Estrada say in a statement at the time: “Using the methods of traditional con artists, high-tech fraudsters have taken advantage of the publicity and hype surrounding cryptocurrency to encourage an untold number of Americans to invest in get-rich-quick schemes.”
Yes, sure. But that overlooks my desire to get rich quick, which inherently requires a get-rich-quick scheme. Duh.
Primary currency used by criminals? Where do I sign up?!?
Did Eric Maskin, a Harvard professor and winner of the 2007 Nobel Prize in economics, recently tell the Miami Herald that cryptocurrencies are “very far from being a safe investment”? And did he also say: “Cryptocurrencies are a very good way of conducting criminal transactions and hiding them under anonymity”?
Don’t threaten me with a good time, Prof. Maskin! When you say “far from being a safe investment,” I hear, “I don’t want you to invest in this great investment so there’s more of it for me to invest in, sucker.”
Nah, I’m going to go with the guys who will benefit from me believing everything they’re telling me. It’s high time I sink my life savings into a thing that doesn’t technically exist.
And if anything goes wrong, I’ve always got my attic full of Beanie Babies to fall back on. Those things are going to be worth a fortune any day now.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk
Crypto
Certik Unveils ‘Anti-Virus for AI Agents’ as Skill Marketplaces Face Hidden Threats
Key Takeaways
- Certik launched a security platform to provide an “anti-virus” layer for agent ecosystems.
- Sector audits reveal high risks, but CertiK aims to protect marketplaces with 90.5% scanning precision.
- Finchip.ai is among platforms expanding integrations ahead of future consumer-facing scan updates.
The Security Challenge
Blockchain and AI security firm Certik, on May 27, unveiled a new security platform designed to evaluate risks in third-party artificial intelligence (AI) skills. Dubbed the “anti-virus for AI agents,” the release comes amid growing industry concern over the security of AI skill marketplaces.
Security researchers have warned that many of these skills are unvetted, can execute system-level actions and may contain hidden malicious behavior, creating a new software supply chain risk for the AI era. Security audits across the sector have identified risks ranging from credential harvesting and data exfiltration to fund-transfer manipulation and prompt-based override attacks.
Despite these concerns, AI skill marketplaces have expanded rapidly as agent ecosystems mature. However, unlike traditional app stores, most skills are sourced from public repositories with little or no review. Analysts say this creates opportunities for attackers to embed harmful instructions, trigger unauthorized data access or manipulate autonomous execution flows.
In a recent blog post, Certik said its skill scanner platform is designed specifically to evaluate risks that emerge during execution, including scenarios involving financial transactions or fund calls. The scanner produces a numerical score from 0 to 100, along with “pass,” “warn” or “fail” verdicts and categorized findings. According to the company, the system achieves up to 90.5% precision in identifying security risks.
“As AI agents become more deeply integrated into financial systems, enterprise workflows and everyday digital interactions, the security model around third-party skills becomes critically important,” said Ronghui Gu, Certik’s CEO and co-founder. “CertiK Skill Scanner was built to establish a standardized trust layer before execution, helping users and platforms identify hidden risks before sensitive data, assets or systems are exposed.”
Certik said AI skill marketplaces can integrate the scanner directly into publishing pipelines, automatically reviewing skills before they go live and displaying security verdicts to users. Enterprises can deploy the tool as part of internal compliance and risk-management workflows, while independent developers can use it to self-audit skills before publishing.
The company said future updates will allow everyday users to scan skills themselves before installation. The scanner has already been deployed in select Web3 AI agent infrastructure environments. Certik is also expanding integrations with additional platforms, including Finchip.ai.
“Trust is the prerequisite for any skill economy to function at scale,” said Gary Yang, incubation investor at Finchip.ai. “CertiK’s work on skill security verification is exactly what this ecosystem needs. It’s what makes Finchip’s mission of programmable skill ownership and distribution worth building.”
The launch follows Certik’s expansion into AI-focused security infrastructure. Earlier this year, the company introduced its AI Auditor initiative to address risks tied to autonomous systems and AI-driven execution environments.
“AI applications are moving toward increasingly autonomous execution, which creates a new category of security and trust challenges,” Gu said. “We believe security infrastructure for the AI era must function proactively, not reactively.”
Crypto
FBI Seizes Over $8 Billion In Cryptocurrency As Part Of The Largest Forfeiture In US Government History
The FBI seized over $8 billion in cryptocurrency, freed nearly 2,000 trafficked workers, and arrested nearly 300 people in a recent international operation.
As part of the operation, authorities shut down several “scam compounds” and crime organizations, including groups known as the Prince Group in Cambodia, Operation Sand Dollar in Dubai, and the Democratic Karen Benevolent Army in Myanmar.
“Scam compounds are modern-day criminal enterprises built to steal from Americans, launder money, and exploit trafficked workers,” FBI director Kash Patel wrote on X announcing the results of the operation.
Fox News reports that the U.S. The Democratic Karen Benevolent Army, an armed militia named after a region in Myanmar that is allegedly connected to the Chinese mob, faces sanctions imposed by the U.S. Treasury. The government has classified it as a transnational criminal organization.
Images from an operation in Thailand reveal that the FBI confiscated office supplies and thousands of smartphones.

The FBI in Dubai will extradite six of the 275 individuals they and local police detained there to the United States to face federal charges, according to the FBI. The authorities raided nine “scam compounds” in Dubai, each allegedly generating $6 million in fraud proceeds annually.
Cryptocurrency scams in the US reached a record high in 2025
In April, an FBI report revealed that cryptocurrency scams in the U.S. reached a record high in 2025, with reported losses of almost $11.4 billion. According to the FBI, cyber-enabled crimes defrauded Americans of almost $21 billion in 2025, with the costliest complaints involving cryptocurrency and artificial intelligence (AI).
“The FBI’s 2025 Internet Crime Complaint Report highlights the ever-evolving tactics of internet scammers,” the FBI’s Baltimore office wrote on X. “From fake social media profiles to voice cloning and AI-generated content, cyber criminals are evolving.”
The Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) received over one million complaints in 2025, up from 859,532 in 2024. The most common complaints were about investment schemes, extortion, and phishing/spoofing.
Crypto
US-Iran Escalation Pushes Bitcoin to $72,622 as $870M Long Bets Collapse
Key Takeaways
- U.S. strikes in Iran and IRGC retaliation in Kuwait threatened Qatar peace talks on Thursday.
- Bitcoin fell 3.6% to $72,622, wiping out $870 million in total long positions over 24 hours.
- The escalation will likely torpedo future diplomacy and embolden anti-settlement hardliners.
Geopolitical Escalation Triggers Crypto Sell-off
Bitcoin plunged below $73,000 early Thursday following reports of fresh U.S. military strikes inside Iran. Market data shows bitcoin tumbled to a multi-week low of $72,622—its lowest level since April 13—before staging a modest recovery back to $73,000. This downturn continues a weekly bearish trend, contrasting sharply with broader global markets that had previously rallied on optimism for a permanent peace agreement between the U.S. and Iran.
The sharp decline pushed bitcoin’s daily losses to 3.6%, dragging its market capitalization down to $1.46 trillion and pulling the aggregate crypto market cap below the $2.6 trillion threshold. Since May 25, when bitcoin last attempted to test the $78,000 resistance level, the asset has shed over 6% of its value. Despite kicking off May on an upward trajectory, this latest price action positions the cryptocurrency to close the month in the red.
Retaliatory Strikes Threaten Peace Talks
According to reports, the latest U.S. military strikes targeted a strategic site in the Iranian port city of Bandar Abbas. In retaliation, Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) reportedly launched strikes against a U.S. military base in Kuwait, where local authorities confirmed that air defense systems engaged incoming missiles and drones.
This escalation comes just days after the U.S. military struck Iranian naval vessels and an alleged missile launch site in Bandar Abbas, citing self-defense. Iranian forces responded at the time by downing U.S. drones. Notably, these hostilities unfolded while U.S. and Iranian negotiators were actively convening in Qatar to finalize a peace agreement. While the Trump administration initially downplayed the earlier friction to keep diplomatic channels open, this latest exchange will likely torpedo the talks and embolden hardliners on both sides who oppose a negotiated settlement.
Meanwhile, the decline in bitcoin and the broader cryptocurrency market resulted in the liquidation of more than $930 million in leveraged positions. Coinglass data showed that liquidations on bitcoin alone topped $366 million, with wiped-out long bets accounting for $348 million of that total. Overall, the market saw $870 million in long positions wiped out over 24 hours.
Bitcoin Slips to $74,530 as Long Traders Face $106M Wipeout
Bitcoin trended downward on Wednesday, dropping beneath the $75,000 threshold to trade at $74,570 at the time of writing. This…
Bitcoin Slips to $74,530 as Long Traders Face $106M Wipeout
Bitcoin trended downward on Wednesday, dropping beneath the $75,000 threshold to trade at $74,570 at the time of writing. This…
Bitcoin Slips to $74,530 as Long Traders Face $106M Wipeout
Bitcoin trended downward on Wednesday, dropping beneath the $75,000 threshold to trade at $74,570 at the time of writing. This…
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