Lifestyle
L.A. Affairs: I hated Feb. 14 — until I received a valentine from my dead husband
Valentine’s Day. Ugh. Not a very good day for a widow. All over the place you flip, you’re reminded that you’re now not somebody’s valentine. And you’ll’t escape from it. There are the oldsters hawking bouquets by the facet of the highway, the sappy tunes on the radio. Then there are all of the locations you used to go together with your companion, reminding you that you’re now alone.
Valentine’s Day is a day I hold reminding myself I ought to simply spend some place else. Like one other planet.
My late husband, Michael, was great about Valentine’s Day — by no means excessive; he simply all the time did one thing particular. And totally different.
One yr, I used to be working at a TV manufacturing job in a dingy workplace situated over a tattoo parlor in Silver Lake: Michael confirmed up with a single-stem pink dinnerplate dahlia in a small silver vase. Because the identify suggests, it was huge and exquisite — a single flower, 10 inches throughout. Everybody within the workplace smiled. One other yr it was pink tulips. Some years we simply stayed residence and cooked one thing particular. Or we took our two children out for ice cream. Through the years, I purchased him books — or goofy socks.
The reward itself didn’t matter. It was what the reward symbolized. There was nice consolation in all the time having a valentine — somebody you’ll select as your valentine yr after yr. Michael was good-looking and charming and extremely sort. We had been collectively for 21 years, married for 18, when he dropped useless of a mind aneurysm in 2012.
Final February, I made a decision to regulate the Valentine’s Day narrative. I opted for some self-pampering and determined to money in a present certificates I needed to a spa in Okay-town. I had been saving it for an important day. I write and produce movies and TV, and work gig to gig. Meaning I’m all the time shaking the bushes for what’s subsequent and counting my pennies. I don’t typically purchase espresso out until I’m assembly somebody about potential work. Plus, there are these two children I discussed — my daughter was about to graduate faculty, and my son was headed for his freshman yr. So I didn’t schedule a scrub or a therapeutic massage on the spa. The reward certificates would get me within the door for a soak and a sauna, and that must do.
Simply as I used to be on the point of go away for a day of leisure, I obtained a name from a man I’d met on a relationship app. We’d gone out a couple of occasions, and I already knew he’d by no means be my future husband. He talked principally about himself. He was in his 50s however nonetheless dressed like a 25-year-old rocker dude. He claimed to have a doctorate diploma in physics, though I couldn’t discover something he’d ever printed. He additionally owned a tech firm. (As soon as, once I requested him why he didn’t embrace “Dr.” or “PhD” on his enterprise card or his firm web site, he mentioned it was as a result of it will make folks suppose he’d be too costly …)
We’d get collectively infrequently for sushi or a film however I’d go residence alone.
I advised him about my spa plans, and the way Valentine’s Day was typically arduous for me. He mentioned he wished to hitch. I considered it. OK. It will be good to have some firm. He arrived late and met me on the spa restaurant.
We shared some laughs, a straightforward dialog and a pleasant meal of bulgogi and a way-too-spicy-for-me fried squid. He’d ordered a number of objects — he even had a dessert despatched to the desk subsequent to us. He bragged that he’d simply signed a $64,000 contract that day. After our meal, I believed he would be part of me within the coed sauna, however he mentioned he wanted to go. That’s once I realized I’d been stiffed with the invoice. About $85. I’d by no means be going out with him once more.
Even the aaaaah of the spa was short-lived.
I returned residence that evening feeling offended and lonelier than ever.
I fell asleep fascinated with Michael. I by no means anticipated him to be such a tricky act to comply with. I simply all the time anticipated him to be there, with me.
And, in a means, maybe he has been. Many individuals who’ve misplaced a cherished one have tales about little moments the place it looks like they’ve acquired a nod, a message, an indication from the past.
Essentially the most beautiful instance of all occurred to me final summer time as I used to be making ready to fly again to L.A. after getting our son settled in for his first yr in school. As I stood within the airport, ready to board my flight, I reached for my marriage ceremony rings. I’d worn them on a series round my neck for the journey, and I whispered, “Babe, we did it. Two children off to school.”
And as I introduced the rings to my lips to kiss them, I used to be startled by a blaring airport announcement: “Paging Michael Newman, paging Michael Newman.”
Michael Newman. That was my late husband’s identify.
The morning after my spa debacle, I lay in mattress charting my day of strolling the canines, calling my children and different chores, once I noticed one thing throughout the bed room.
A few years earlier, Michael and I had taken some goofy footage collectively in a photograph sales space, the sort you see at an amusement park or on the Santa Monica Pier. The strip of photos had been a few of my favourite footage of us collectively, and taking a look at it all the time made me smile. However by some means, it had gone MIA. I had seemed all over the place for it. I feared it had unintentionally fallen into the trash or gotten swept up with a newspaper and tossed by some means.
I had cried. One other piece of us gone.
As I walked throughout the room that morning, there, resting atop a pair of my footwear, was the image strip. Seemingly fastidiously positioned.
However how? Not counting my two rescue canines, I stay alone.
Even from one other dimension, Michael was nonetheless being a very good valentine.
This yr? I’m trusting my intestine.
I’d moderately spend Valentine’s Day alone than with any questionable valentines.
Maybe I’ll even take a last-minute journey out of city.
I can all the time take the canines, and the images, with me.
The creator lives in South Pasadena and writes and produces for TV and movie. She is presently in growth on a historic fiction venture for TV. She is on Instagram @margo.newman.75
L.A. Affairs chronicles the seek for romantic love in all its wonderful expressions within the L.A. space, and we need to hear your true story. We pay $300 for a broadcast essay. E-mail LAAffairs@latimes.com. You’ll find submission pointers right here. You’ll find previous columns right here.
Lifestyle
Why bananas may become one of the first casualties of the dockworkers strike
If you enjoy sliced bananas with your cereal or drinking a banana smoothie, you might want to savor it while you can. Fresh bananas could be one of the first casualties of the dockworkers’ strike.
The strike, now in its third day, has halted traffic at ports along the east coast and the gulf coast which handle an estimated three-quarters of all banana imports.
That includes the port of Wilmington, Del., which is the number one gateway for bananas coming into the U.S.
Ships from Dole and Chiquita — two of the world’s biggest banana producers — ferry more than 1.5 million tons of bananas to Wilmington every year from Central and South America.
Many of those bananas are then trucked to M. Levin & Co. in Philadelphia — which has been trading bananas in the region for four generations.
“The bananas are on the water for about seven days,” says Tracie Levin, who helps to oversee daily operations at the firm. “They come through the ports here. We pick them up. We ripen them in the ripening rooms for a few days, and then they go out to their stores and that’s how they get to consumers in the area.”
That normally smooth and largely invisible process is one of many that have been interrupted by the dockworkers’ strike, which has halted shipments of everything from auto parts to wine.
Levin is hoping for a quick resolution.
“We want a fair deal for everyone, from the ports to the workers,” she says. “Our country relies very heavily on our ports so this is definitely going to have a ripple-down effect if it doesn’t come to an end soon.”
In the banana business for over a century
Of all the goods now treading water in shipping containers, few are more sensitive to the passage of time than fresh fruit. Auto parts and wine generally don’t spoil if they’re stuck in transit for a little while. But for bananas, the clock is ticking.
“These bananas do have a shelf life, even when they’re sitting in the refrigerated containers,” Levin says. “If they sit too long they will dry out. They will not ripen properly. It’s really important that they get unloaded before they end up sitting out there too long and just become trash.”
It’s something Levin knows very well, since her family has been in the banana business for over a century.
“My great-grandfather in 1906 started ripening bananas on Dock Street in Philadelphia in the cellar,” she says.
In those early days, bananas arrived by the boatload still attached to giant stalks. Today the fruit comes in cardboard boxes, stacked in refrigerated shipping containers. Levin’s company handles about 35,000 of those 40-pound cartons every week, supplying big box stores and corner retailers as far west as Chicago.
People may soon go bananas
Levin’s company stockpiled extra truckloads of green bananas before the strike, and they do have some ability to slow the ripening process — but only for so long.
The wholesaler has enough fruit on hand to last a week or so, but after that, look out.
“Our banana supply will be dwindling if the ships aren’t getting the fruit off,” Levin says. “The consumer may see a banana shortage at their local grocery stores very soon.”
For now, grocery shoppers might want to pick up a few extra bananas, just in case. But of course, those won’t stay fresh long either.
Lifestyle
Championing Retail Career Development at Aesop
Lifestyle
This horror genre is scary as folk – and perfect October viewing
It’s October. Some of your neighbors will spend this, the official first weekend of spooky season, going all-out with inflatable yard skeletons and ghosts. They will embark upon the annual attempt to make candy corn, aka high-fructose ear wax, a thing. They’ll adorn their front porches with those cotton spider webs that look nothing like real spider webs and instead just make it look like they went and ritually murdered a white sweater so they could hang its dismembered corpse across their doorway as a grisly warning to all other knitwear.
For me, it’s a more simple, elemental formula: Hot cider, cider donuts, folk horror.
The appeal of cider and donuts is universal, but folk horror might need some defining. Essentially, it’s horror set in remote, isolated areas where nature still holds sway. Well, nature paired with the superstitious beliefs of the locals, who tend to treat unwary outsiders with suspicion (if the outsiders are lucky) or malice (if they’re not).
The classic example is 1973’s The Wicker Man, in which an uptight, devout, and veddy veddy British policeman (Edward Woodward) visits a remote Scottish island to investigate the disappearance of a young girl. Turns out the locals have embraced a form of Celtic paganism, which doesn’t sit right with him. He says as much to the island’s aristocratic leader, a mysterious and charismatic sort played by Christopher Lee. Things don’t end well for our poor British bobby – though presumably the island will enjoy a bountiful harvest, so, you know: Big picture, it’s still a win.
Other founding classics of the genre include 1968’s The Witchfinder General and 1971’s The Blood on Satan’s Claw, which of the three films has the least going for it, apart from its title, which is, all reasonable people can agree, metal AF.
I love me some folk horror, and am never happier than when I can while away a damp, foggy (and thus obligingly atmospheric) October afternoon mainlining new and old examples of the form like Kill List, You Won’t Be Alone, Viy, The Ritual, Häxan, The Medium, Apostle, Midsommar, The Witch, Hereditary, Night of the Demon, A Field in England, Robin Redbreast, and Men. (Looking for more examples? Check out the documentary Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror.)
Some folk horror involves supernatural elements, but I confess a particular fondness for those stories that don’t – stories where it’s the folk themselves (read: the locals, and their beliefs) who are the true and only source of the horror. (I won’t spoil which of the above films traffic in human vs. supernatural evil, in case you haven’t seen them.)
Talismans and turtlenecks
The Wicker Man was the first folk horror film I saw as a kid, which is maybe why I harbor a deep love of folk horror set in ’70s Britain, a time and place when an interest in the occult became faddish, inspiring a wave of folk horror specifically inflected with Satanic panic. Many of these films were set in the past, but those like The Wicker Man were set in the then-present, a time when men wore wavy hair and tight bell bottoms. Christopher Lee’s Lord Summerisle, for example, sported a kicky tweed leisure suit topped off by a burnt-orange sweater.
It’s why I think of this very specific subgenre of ‘70s folk horror as Talismans and Turtlenecks.
I just came across a new-to-me example of T & T last Sunday afternoon, which was suitably cold and wet and misty: 1970’s The Dunwich Horror. A stiff-haired Sandra Dee, desperately attempting to shake her goody-goody image, plays a woman who falls under the sway of a young and hilariously intense, wide-eyed Dean Stockwell. (Seriously, you keep waiting for his character to blink, but instead he just keeps goggling fixedly at the world around him. At one point he makes a pot of tea, staring at it so fiercely through every stage of the process you start to wonder if he’s trying to convince it to hop into bed with him.)
Don’t get me wrong: It’s a cheesy film, filled with crummy dialogue and hammy acting and cheap sets and one fight scene so wildly inept that has to be seen to be disbelieved. I won’t reveal if the threat hanging over the film is human or supernatural (though the fact that it’s based on an H.P. Lovecraft short story should tip you off). But I will say that Stockwell sports a thick, curly hairdo, a cravat, two count-em two pinky rings, and a huge mustache that curls under itself at either end, in the process effectively turning my guy’s mouth into a parenthetical statement.
You can watch it for free, with commercials, on Pluto TV, which I swear is a real streaming service and not something I made up. The Dunwich Horror is not remotely scary, but it does have something to say, I suppose, about the madness of crowds and what, back in grad school, we used to call “othering.” (The Stockwell character is the scion of an eccentric family that the local community has shunned for generations, you see.)
And that, of course, is the abiding appeal of folk horror: It takes those universal feelings of alienation and isolation that make us all feel like outsiders in our own communities and gives them flesh. When the supernatural is involved, sometimes that flesh pulses and oozes. Sometimes it’s furry and clawed.
But whenever the story is about our collective tendency to cling to belief in the supernatural, the flesh involved is all too human, and probably gets stabbed with a sacrificial dagger in the final reel. Happy spooky season, y’all.
This piece also appeared in NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour newsletter. Sign up for the newsletter so you don’t miss the next one, plus get weekly recommendations about what’s making us happy.
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