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Jill Duggar’s family built a wholesome reality TV empire. Now her book talks about its damage

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Jill Duggar’s family built a wholesome reality TV empire. Now her book talks about its damage

Jill Duggar never thought of herself as the rebellious type — quite the opposite.

As the former star of “19 Kids and Counting” writes in her memoir, “Counting the Cost,” “I was hands down the best approval hunter in the whole Duggar family.” As a child raised in a strict Christian Fundamentalist household, she followed rules that forbid “sinful” pursuits like dancing and promoted obedience to paternal authority above all else. Later, when her family’s hit TLC reality show thrust her into the limelight as a teenager, Duggar didn’t question the constant presence of the camera or where all the money from the network was going.

But Duggar became the most visible defector in her famous family with the publication of her book earlier this month. In it, she paints a grim picture of life inside the reality TV bubble, claiming she was tricked by her father, Jim Bob Duggar, into signing a five-year contract that required her to have intimate moments — including the birth of her first child — filmed for public consumption. Even as her father became wealthy enough to amass a fleet of private airplanes and a vast real estate portfolio, she received no money for starring in “19 Kids and Counting” or the spinoff “Counting On” until she waged a painful, protracted legal battle against her parents.

Co-written with her husband Derick Dillard and author Craig Borlase, “Counting the Cost” charts Duggar’s spiritual journey away from the rigid beliefs of the Institute in Basic Life Principles, the ministry her parents followed — and which she now describes as a cult.

The book debuted at No. 2 on the New York Times bestseller list, right behind Walter Isaacson’s “Elon Musk,” a sprawling biography of the tech billionaire — an indication not only of the public’s insatiable interest in Duggar family scandal but also of the surprising resonance of religious extremism and reality TV exploitation.

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“We’ve been very grateful and thankful for the outpouring of support. So many people have said they’ve been touched by our story, and related to it, even if they didn’t grow up the same way that I did. I’m just grateful to hear that it’s helping people,” said Duggar, in a joint interview with Dillard earlier this month.

The last few weeks have been thrilling — but also nerve-wracking for the couple, who have three boys and live in Oklahoma. “I think we would have been less nervous if we lived further from Northwest Arkansas,” said Dillard, referring to the area where his in-laws still live.

The couple talked about what compelled them to write the book, their family’s reaction to it, and why there needs to be more oversight of children in reality TV. This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Jill Duggar’s memoir, “Counting the Cost.”

(Gallery Books / Simon & Schuster)

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What inspired you to write the book in the first place?

Duggar: The last several years we’ve talked about writing a book and struggled with the idea. I was like, “Well, it’s family.” We got more serious about it when I realized the problems that we were facing as a couple are problems that lots of people are facing. The more we talked to friends, we felt like they could relate to our story. They found hope and healing, just knowing that they were not alone in these isolating, controlling, manipulative situations — a lot of it based on the IBLP group that I grew up in. I thought, I can’t sit by anymore and watch people get swept away when there’s something that I can do about it.

On top of that, just thinking about how many years we were on reality TV promoting a lot of these things, you almost feel a responsibility to come back and say, “Hey, this isn’t so rosy. Watch out. Here’s some red flags here that you might want to think about.”

The book revisits a lot of painful chapters in your past, which I’m sure was difficult. With your co-writer, Craig Borlase, did you set guidelines about what you would and wouldn’t discuss in the book?

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Duggar: There are parts of my story that I did not want to go into, like the lawsuit my sisters and I were involved in [over the release of police records detailing alleged incidents of sexual abuse that occurred when they were minors]. But I knew that in writing a book, I would have to at least briefly address those areas that nobody should have known about — the abuse and everything that happened. I wanted to address it from a standpoint of “here are the guilty parties, and we’re gonna hold them accountable: the police chief, the city of Springdale, Washington County, and In Touch magazine, the people that released these juvenile records.” I want to be a voice advocating for juvenile victims rights. I didn’t want to feed the frenzy and continue to go into detail.

I think one of the most shocking details in the book is that you felt obligated to share your birth on TV because of this contract that you didn’t even know you had signed and weren’t allowed to read. Looking back, was that the moment you started questioning everything?

Duggar: There were definitely frustrations [before that], but I was very brainwashed into thinking that this is my normal life, I must submit to this. We were conditioned by these principles that I was reared under — the IBLP principles, where you have to honor your parents, but to honor means to obey far into adulthood and marriage. So if my dad says, “I give my blessing for this,” you’re supposed to follow whatever that is. So if that means filming the birth, that’s what we’re supposed to do.

Dillard: Unfortunately, you don’t get away from something like this toxic culture unless you have things blow up in your face. Otherwise, it’s very hard to see it if you’re on the inside. But even from the very beginning, there were red flags.

We wanted our friends to take pictures at our wedding, for example. Our wedding was filmed before 2,000 people and 4.4 million people watched it later on TV, but [at the ceremony] they said, “For the sake of the bride and groom, we ask that you not take pictures. It’s their special day.” And I just cringed, because Jill and I, neither one of us would care if people took pictures. I hated that they used that to promote their own agenda of control and financial gain at our expense. It would sound really weird if they said, “Well, the bride and groom don’t care if you take pictures, but for the sake of the bride’s father, and for the network, TLC, we ask that you not take pictures because they have exclusives.” It wouldn’t sit well in that setting. So they basically lied.

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Jill Duggar in a white wedding dress and Derick Dillard in grey suit and tie.

Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard on their wedding day in 2014.

(Jill & Derick Dillard / Gallery Books)

Duggar: We only cared to the degree that we were going to get in trouble from family. I was very conditioned into that. I’ve encouraged other people in similar situations to be patient with each other. That’s a huge thing about coming out of a group like this or any kind of religious cult. I felt equally as uncomfortable [as Derick] about these things, but I was afraid to speak up, because I was so recently removed from it.

A lot of the book is about your relationship with your father and how he exerted control over you when it came to the show. But do you hold the network or producers accountable for any of what happened?

Duggar: I think there was a lot of unknowns on their side. As kids in the lifestyle that we were reared in, we were the perfect victims. We weren’t going to push back a whole lot. We weren’t going to speak up and say no. So when the contract was set before me, they were probably like, “Oh, any normal adult would have read what they were signing.” I don’t know if they were turning a blind eye to signs and symptoms they saw popping up. At the end of the day, they have a show to make. But I think that there should be more accountability in place.

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Dillard: Some people didn’t do their due diligence. When we went back and got more documents, there were other signatures that Jill’s parents signed for kids who were not minors at that time. And my opinion is that the network didn’t want to know if there were any issues because they were benefiting so much off of this, and they could deny responsibility if they could claim ignorance. And in my opinion that happened more often than not throughout this whole process.

Do you have thoughts about how the industry can operate more ethically, particularly when it comes to children? Should kids really even be on TV?

Duggar: Having grown up on reality TV, I feel like kids should have more protections in place. I don’t know exactly what that would look like. But I do know that it’s a constant struggle for parents our age, even just trying to figure out what degree to involve your kids on social media. The problem can grow out of hand very quickly when you rely on your children for the show to continue and without them there is no content.

Dillard: There’s [nothing] to make sure kids are protected as far as their education goes. If a family sees an opportunity to make money, they can justify taking away their kids’ time [in school] because, well, they don’t need education, they can just have this money to support them. Jill can attest to this, but from what we can tell, none of her siblings really had much education past the seventh grade. A lot of that was due to the show taking over. It was like, “Well, if the show requires most of the filming hours during the weekday, then school is not really that important.”

Duggar: I can’t say that kids should never be involved in reality TV because I think parents should have a say. But I think networks should have more accountability in place to make sure that kids are being protected, and that they’re getting the education they need, that [the TV show] is not taking priority and that their rights are not being violated. There were very vulnerable moments, like I point out in the book, where I wish I didn’t have to be on reality TV, but I had to.

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Do you feel like you or your siblings were deprived of education?

Duggar: Yeah, I do. I went on to take some college classes. I got my midwifery certifications. I’m currently inactive on my status now. But I do think that the show took priority in a lot of areas of our lives. Yes, there were great parts to it. But there were also very difficult parts that I would not choose, if I got to go back and I actually had a choice.

Do you think about where you would be without the show? Obviously, it created a lot of pain for you. But it also helped lead you to where you are now.

Duggar: I definitely wouldn’t have this platform to speak from. At the same time, I’ve had people who have said to me, “Oh, look at all the benefits.” And to them I say, “Look at your life, you have roses and thorns in your life.” And they’re both very valid. Like, I can look back at filming and say, we went on a bunch of great trips, we had some great experiences. But it’s something that I didn’t have a choice in. It was chosen for me.

How are things with your family? Have you heard from them since the book came out?

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Duggar: I have heard from some of them. Not a whole lot of feedback, which I didn’t anticipate. I sent my siblings a big long email and just reached out to touch base — at the encouragement of my sister, Jinger, actually. It’s helpful that she just wrote her book in January. Some of [my siblings] were like, “Yeah, I would love to read your book, can you send me a copy?” So I’m getting those to them. And then other ones I haven’t heard from, and I’m fine with that. Because everybody’s in a different place.

I think that’s one thing that therapy has helped me with, is being OK with other people not being OK. It’s hard. I was in tears yesterday about it. It’s not something that you just move past and then you’re callous to it. I love my family. I really do want to have good relationships with them and look toward healing in the future. But it’s a process.

Dillard: Nobody wants bad relationships. We’re really hoping that, you know, 20 years from now we’re going to have genuine healing.

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Movie Reviews

Movie Review: ‘September 5’ goes inside a newsroom during the Munich Olympics hostage crisis

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Movie Review: ‘September 5’ goes inside a newsroom during the Munich Olympics hostage crisis

News junkies will find much to love in “September 5,” a fictionalized account of ABC’s live coverage of the hostage crisis during the 1972 Munich Olympics. There are spirited debates about reporting with only one source, use of words like “terrorism” and what to do if violence breaks out during a live shot. There are negotiations with rival networks over satellite usage, disguises and fake badges made to get reels of 16mm film in and out of the locked down Olympic village and plenty of confused men (and a few women) trying to keep up with an ever-escalating situation.

The film is a moment by moment retelling of how a group of sports broadcasters brought this story to the world in real time, despite the technical limitations and their own inexperience across a confusing 22 hours. Everyone came to the studio that night ready for breaking sports news, scores and pre-packaged interviews. Even that was going to be a test for the man running the control room for the first time. Geoffrey Mason, portrayed by John Magaro, was a 28-year-old coordinating producer. Someone wonders about his experience and is assured that he’s covered minor league baseball games.

But in the early hours of Sept. 5, 1972, eight members of a Palestinian group called Black September broke into the Olympic village and attacked the Israeli delegation killing wrestling coach Moshe Weinberg and weightlifter Yossi Romano. Some escaped, but nine others were taken hostage.

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While the tragedy of the Munich Olympics has certainly been told many times, writer and director Tim Fehlbaum saw an opportunity in the team behind the live broadcast. And he commits fully to staying in the newsroom, with all of its glorious old technologies, from the walkie-talkies they used to stay in touch and to taking time to show how they had to manually add text to the screens. He and his screenwriter were able to reconstruct the events almost minute-by-minute, which helped shape the screenplay.

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The players are many in this large ensemble. Peter Sarsgaard, who’s looked right in a newsroom since “Shattered Glass,” gives gravitas to Roone Arledge, then-president of ABC Sports, and Ben Chaplin is operations engineer Marvin Bader. Leonie Benesch is Marianne Gebhardt, a German-speaking interpreter who is the only person there able to understand the language of the country. She might be a bit of a composite who checks off a lot of boxes as both an entrepreneurial woman and a younger German offering perspective and insight into what this moment might mean for the country trying to put on a good front in the aftermath of World War II. An actor (Benjamin Walker) plays broadcaster Peter Jennings, and real archival footage of anchor Jim McKay from that day is used in the film.

And while they all rise to the occasion, mistakes are made – including a rather big one at the end, following imperfect secondhand information from the Fuerstenfeldbruck airfield. They don’t call it the first draft of history for nothing, after all, and it may be illuminating for audiences to see how it’s handled.

The film looks of its time, but it also feels fairly modern in its sensibilities which makes it always seem more like a re-telling than an in-the-moment experience. This may be to its detriment, yet it’s still an undeniably riveting and compelling watch. The word thrilling doesn’t seem appropriate, however. This is not “Apollo 13” after all. The end is not a happy one.

But at time when trust in the media is in crisis, this film is a great humanizer, reminding audiences that the media is far from a monolith, but a group of individuals under immense pressure to get the story right, get the story out and go back and do it again the next day.

“September 5,” a Paramount Pictures release in theaters Friday, is rated R by the Motion Picture Association for language. Running time: 94. Three stars out of four.

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'Golden Bachelor' Gerry Turner reveals cancer led to abrupt divorce. His ex disagrees

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'Golden Bachelor' Gerry Turner reveals cancer led to abrupt divorce. His ex disagrees

There was more to the shocking “Golden Bachelor” divorce than met the eye. Gerry Turner, who charmed all ages as the ABC franchise’s elder star, has cancer and he says that’s what cut short his marriage to final rose recipient Theresa Nist.

The 72-year-old revealed to People on Tuesday that early in their marriage he was diagnosed with a rare bone marrow cancer, which influenced their decision to split. Nist, in a separate interview with the magazine, appeared to disagree. (More on that later.)

Upon announcing their divorce in April, Turner and Nist said that distance was mainly the culprit. The two couldn’t decide whether they should live in Turner’s Indiana or Nist’s New Jersey — because they didn’t want to be separated from their respective families.

The reality star said the cancer revelation “probably will clear up a lot of mystery” around what happened at the beginning of the year.

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“As Theresa and I were trying very hard to find our lifestyle and where we were going to live and how we were going to make our life work, I was unfortunately diagnosed with cancer,” he told People.

The former couple, who got engaged during the “Golden Bachelor” finale that aired in November 2023, tied the knot during an ABC special that aired in January. But three months later, the two announced on “Good Morning America” that they were calling it quits. Turner filed his divorce petition the same day, ending the short-lived marriage to the financial services professional.

Turner said his diagnosis followed a three-year-old shoulder injury that he sustained while teaching a pickleball class. But he got busy and didn’t have it properly looked at until after his run on the reality show. Then his orthopedic surgeon referred him to another doctor after his lab work contained “unusual blood markers” that they initially believed could be caused by a blood disorder.

The reality star said he was then diagnosed with Waldenström’s macroglobulinemia, a slow-growing bone marrow cancer. The Mayo Clinic says it’s a non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma that occurs when white blood cells turn into cancer cells and build up in the spongy material of the marrow.

“Unfortunately, there’s no cure for it. So that weighs heavily in every decision I make,” Turner told People. “It was like 10 tons of concrete were just dropped on me. And I was a bit in denial for a while; I didn’t want to admit to it.”

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The widower shared the perceived blood disorder news with Nist in February and underwent additional testing for a more definitive diagnosis. He told Nist in mid-March that it was cancer,. Their conversation was brief and she was understandably “a little bit awestruck” by the news, he said.

“I wanted my life to continue on as normal as possible, and that led me to believing that as normal as possible more meant spending time with my family, my two daughters, my two son-in-laws, my granddaughters,” he said, adding that “the importance of finding the way with Theresa was still there, but it became less of a priority.”

He also pushed back against judgments about their split that he believes are “unfair” and characterized their abbreviated union as a “cherished memory” that he wished had a different ending.

“I hope that people understand in retrospect now that [the diagnosis] had a huge bearing on my decisions and I think probably Theresa’s as well,” he said. “Hopefully they’ll look at things a little bit differently, that maybe it wasn’t quite a rash, fast decision that people thought. That there was something else going on.”

However, Nist, 71, told People that her ex-husband’s diagnosis “wasn’t a factor in the ending of the relationship.” At least not for her.

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“If that was something on his part, maybe, I don’t know. But no, that didn’t factor into ending the relationship,” she said. “Part of it was the distance, but that wasn’t the only part. That’s really all I will say.”

Meanwhile, Turner said that he’s working with a hematology-oncology group in Fort Wayne, Ind., and is going to “pack as much fun” he possibly can into his life.

“[W]hen I’m gone, I’m gone, but I’m not going to have regrets,” he told the magazine.

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Thangalaan Movie Review

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Thangalaan Movie Review

Thangalaan is a historical drama set in the 18th century, directed by Pa Ranjith. Starring Vikram in the lead role, the film depicts the struggles of a tribal community against colonial forces, set against the backdrop of gold mines. Initially released in theaters on August 15, 2024, it became available on OTT platforms starting December 10, 2024, in Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, and Kannada.

Plot
The story is set in a tribal village under North Arcot’s jurisdiction during the British era. The village chief, Thangalaan (Vikram), and his wife Jangamma (Parvathi Thiruvothu) lead their community amidst dire challenges. When their land is seized and they are forced into bonded labor, the situation escalates.

Meanwhile, British officer Lord Clement (Daniel Caltagirone) is determined to discover hidden gold mines in the region. Believing the tribal knowledge holds the key, he offers Thangalaan a share of the gold in exchange for his assistance. Motivated by the hope of a better future, Thangalaan agrees but warns Clement about the mystical guard of the mines, Aarathi (Malavika Mohanan), a sorceress.

The narrative unfolds with the tribe’s journey to the gold mines, their struggles, and Thangalaan’s connection with Aarathi. What challenges await them? What is Aarathi’s true role? These questions drive the plot forward.

Analysis
The story of Thangalaan is penned by Tamil Prabha, focusing on a tribal community’s struggle to escape bonded labor and confront mystical forces and venomous snakes. Set against the backdrop of forests and hills, the narrative is rooted in the 18th century during the British colonial era. While the story is set in this period, the presence of British officers on screen is minimal. However, the tribal village setup feels natural and authentic.

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Given the forest-centric narrative, the director did not face significant challenges in recreating the atmospheric setting. Particular attention has been paid to costumes and makeup, enhancing the authenticity of the characters. The involvement of established actors like Vikram and Parvathi Thiruvothu adds credibility and interest, making their on-screen presence commendable.

The director maintains a serious tone throughout the film, presenting it as a unique piece of content. However, this approach distances the film from mainstream entertainment, offering limited moments of joy or light-heartedness. Consequently, it feels closer to a documentary in certain parts.

There are a few controversial scenes and dialogues, and the Telugu dubbing fails to align seamlessly with the characters. For instance, the protagonist, a tribal leader, uses formal phrases like “Niksheptamai,” “Sanrakshinchu,” and “Mitrama,” which feel out of place for the character and setting, reducing the impact of the dialogues.

Performances
Vikram shines as Thangalaan, delivering a performance that elevates the film. His physical transformation and intense acting make the character memorable.
Parvathi Thiruvothu impresses in a supportive yet pivotal role as Thangalaan’s wife.
Malavika Mohanan and Daniel Caltagirone bring depth to their respective roles, adding intrigue to the narrative.
Supporting cast members, including Pasupathy, justify their parts well.

Technical Aspects
Cinematography: Kishore Kumar captures the rugged terrains and tribal life beautifully, adding a layer of realism to the narrative.
Music: G.V. Prakash Kumar’s background score is adequate, and the songs blend well with the period setting.
Editing: Selva’s editing maintains a steady pace but struggles to make the lengthy runtime feel engaging.

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Strengths
Authentic depiction of tribal life and struggles.
Vikram’s stellar performance.
Strong technical execution, especially in costume design and cinematography.

Drawbacks
Slow-paced narrative with limited entertainment value.
Overly serious tone, making it feel more like a documentary.
Lack of emotional depth in certain scenes.

Verdict
Thangalaan is not your typical commercial entertainer. It is a serious, visually compelling drama that highlights the struggles of a tribal community during the colonial era. While it may not have performed well in theaters, its unique content and historical backdrop may find a niche audience on OTT platforms. For viewers seeking a raw, unglamorous cinematic experience rooted in history, Thangalaan offers a distinct take.

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