CNN founder and media mogul Ted Turner died Wednesday at 87. Well, scratch that. Those two labels don’t quite do him justice.

Let me try again: Ted Turner — the founder of CNN, a media mogul, a business tycoon, a world-renowned sailor, the creator of the superstation, the former owner of the Atlanta Braves, and a fierce supporter of wet T-shirt contests — died Wednesday at 87.

Whew. How is THAT for a list of accomplishments to take with you to the pearly gates? Did Ted leave it all out on the field, or what?

Yes, that last one is obviously why I’m here writing about Ted today. I know he was a pioneer in the TV industry. That’s his lasting legacy. But folks forget he was once the owner of the Atlanta Braves (and Hawks), and, more importantly, he used to host “wet T-shirt contests” during college nights at Braves games.

That’s right. We used to be a proper country. I say it all the time, but we really did used to have it all, and we just pissed it all away. I grew up in the 1990s when Ted’s TBS “superstation” was all the rage, and I loved it to death. Some of the best days of my life.

But boy, do I wish I could go back to the 1970s and take in a Braves games and then a wet t-shirt contest. Wrong era!

Ted Turner also managed the Braves for one single day

It’s not often that both Clay Travis and Darren Rovell post about the same thing, but here we are.

This is the effect Ted Turner had on folks. People from both sides of the aisle spent yesterday remembering Turner. Some, for his efforts in the media world.

BRAVES SIDELINE REPORTER’S EFFORT TO GET WOMAN’S PHONE NUMBER SPARKS CONTENTIOUS ONLINE DEBATE

Others, of course, for his efforts in bundling Braves games and college wet t-shirt contests. And what an unreal price, too! Fifty cents for general admission to the Braves take on the Cubbies, and then you get to take in a wet t-shirt contest AND a Miller beer party?

From thisgreatgame.com:

“A crowd of 11,451, assumedly mostly male, showed up to watch the rotten Braves (13-24) take on the Chicago Cubs. Or at least that’s what they told their wives and girlfriends. But rain threatened the whole thing; for two hours, everyone sat around—interesting enough, no one left—before the first pitch finally took place.

“Somewhere around the sixth inning, the Braves announced that registration for the contest was under away, to be done in full view of the fans so they can see the pretty girls sign up; it took a while for the first woman to rev up the courage and walk to the table, but once she did, 42 others followed.”

This Ted Turner was a genius. A true genius. No wonder he was so beloved. All you get nowadays are stupid “Bring Your Dog to the Ballpark” promotions and “Star Wars Night.”

In fact, just to show you how miserable this era is compared to the 70s, the Atlanta Hawks were forced to cancel their “Magic City” promotion earlier this year because the NBA found it to be inappropriate.

And we had Ted Turner hosting wet t-shirt contests on COLLEGE NIGHT after games in the 70s! Again, we had it all, and we just pissed it away.

Anyway, some of Ted’s other feats include temporarily taking over the team for one game in 1977 after firing his manager during a 16-game losing stream (they lost), and later that year loading up the entire team in a yacht so they could watch him compete in the America’s Cup trials in Rhode Island.

For me, I will always remember him for the TBS superstation. Again, that’s my childhood. Turning on a Braves game every night at 7:05 was the best. This is back before streaming, so you didn’t really have access to much. I lived in Florida, so it was either the Marlins or Braves.

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Unfortunately, the wet T-shirt contests did NOT make it to the 90s, which is shocking given … they were the 90s.

Oh well. Maybe it’ll come back one day soon. Although, I’m fairly certain the Braves don’t even do the full tomahawk chop anymore because the libs got fake-made about it, so I wouldn’t hold your breath.

RIP.

States are starting to enforce expanded work requirements and other changes for people receiving aid from the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, also known as SNAP or food stamps.

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