Oregon
Apple is developing a comedic Oregon Trail movie
Announcing a project in which someone had better goddamn die of dysentery—allowing the survivors to leave a tombstone that your seventh grade history teacher will then get really mad about, because you named them “ASSCLOWN,” and they don’t know how to clear it off the disk—Apple has apparently put a film adaptation of computer gaming edutainment classic Oregon Trail into the works.
Yes, the game that taught you that there will always be more buffalo to shoot, even if you leave thousands of pounds of their meat out to rot in the prairie sun, is getting the movie treatment. We’ve actually written about this project before, more than two years ago, when it was first floated by directors Josh Gordon and Will Speck and their EGOT-winning songwriting partners Benj Pasek and Justin Paul. (A.k.a., the team behind that Shawn Mendes Lyle, Lyle Crocodile movie that we all totally remembered existed, right?) Now, though, the project has landed at Amazon, where it’s being described as a comedy film positioning itself very much in the Barbie mold. (Complete with some original musical numbers from Pasek and Paul, who recently won an Emmy for getting the fucking “Pickwick Triplets” stuck in our heads for like six months after Only Murders In The Building‘s third season.)
Of course, we could argue that Oregon Trail already got a pretty good comedy adaptation in 2021, when TBS’s late, lamented Miracle Workers took satirical aim at westward expansion with its third season. Still, part of the joy of Oregon Trail—which has been updated about a million times since its original release in 1971, but which will always be synonymous with blocky Apple II graphics in our minds—is how much unintentional silliness there is in its depiction of frontier life. (Some day we’ll actually find out what a wagon tongue is, and why they break so often.) The most joyful thing about the original game, though, was how blithe it was about the fact that anyone embarking on the journey from Missouri to the West Coast had a pretty good chance of dropping dead from something, especially if you forded a river you shouldn’t have just so you could watch the wagon bloop down under the water. Hopefully the film will embrace the violent chaos—otherwise, how is ASSCLOWN going to get their fair due?
A script for Oregon Trail is reportedly in the works from The Lucas Brothers and Max Reisman.
[via THR]
Oregon
Oregon’s Class Surges in Team Recruiting Rankings to No. 3
If you headed to the lake early last week, you missed the best fireworks. Dan Lanning and his staff put on a cup of coffee and closed like the Wolf of Wall Street. Minus the cocaine, probably.
All jokes aside, and believe me, these are jokes, the recruiting this staff is doing is not a joke. From June 28 to July 3, a span of 6 days Oregon added four new commitments and all were four stars or better. If you weren’t paying attention, Oregon landed 12 commits in the months of June and what we’ve had in July so far.
The recruiting class has surged from the teens to No. 9 to start last week to No. 3 overall by Friday afternoon. Only Texas A&M and Notre Dame have better recruiting classes according to Rivals. Oregon has the best class in the Big Ten conference.
The 24 commits sit at an average rating of 90.76 according to Rivals. Additionally 16 of the 24 commits are ranked four-stars or better and that includes the Ducks having a pair of 5-Star commitments. Oregon has 11 defensive commits, 11 offensive commits and 2 listed as athletes.
Up next is a commitment from four-star linebacker Brayton Feister set for Saturday, July 11. I don’t believe that addition will move Oregon up in the rankings but will strengthen their current position.
With five-star wide receiver Xavier Sabb committing, Oregon now has a commitment from 17 different states. Should Feister from Ohio pick the Ducks on Saturday, that would give Oregon an 18th state. The national reach of this program is as good as any school in the country.
Last year Oregon finished with the No. 4 ranked class in the nation. The 2025 class also finished at No. 4 nationally.
The early signing period for the 2027 class begins on December 4 and ends on December 6. The transfer portal window begins on January 2.
Oregon kicks off its 2026 season opener at home on September 5 vs Boise State.
Oregon
Former corrections officer sentenced in major Oregon poaching case spanning multiple counties
UMATILLA COUNTY, Ore. (KTVZ) — A yearslong investigation by the Oregon State Police (OSP), in addition to the Fish and Wildlife Division, has resulted in significant penalties for an Umatilla man accused of illegally killing wildlife across Oregon, in what prosecutors describe as one of the most damaging serial poaching cases tied to a single individual.
Christopher George Matson, 48, was sentenced in two separate cases in June following an investigation that began in 2024, when authorities received information he was unlawfully taking big game animals. Matson is a former Oregon Department of Corrections officer.
In February 2025, investigators served a search warrant and seized multiple big game animals and firearms as evidence. In total, 67 criminal charges were referred for prosecution, spanning multiple counties and including allegations such as unlawful take and possession of black bear with the aid of bait, unlawful take of buck deer and antlerless elk, and hunting during prohibited hours. Additional charges included falsely applying for tags, loaning or borrowing big game tags, and unlawful possession of silencers and a short-barreled rifle.
The case was prosecuted by the Oregon Department of Justice’s Wildlife Anti-Poaching Resource Prosecutor.
On June 18, 2026, Matson pleaded guilty in Grant County Circuit Court to seven counts, including unlawful take of buck deer and black bear. He was sentenced to 18 months of probation, a lifetime hunting license revocation, 300 hours of community service, forfeiture of firearms and seized property, and a $52,500 fine payable to the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife.
Less than two weeks later, on June 29, Matson pleaded guilty in Umatilla County Circuit Court to additional charges, including unlawful possession of a short-barreled rifle, unlawful possession of a silencer, unlawful possession of multiple wildlife, and unlawful take of mule deer. In that case, he was sentenced to 24 months of probation, a lifetime hunting ban, 300 hours of community service to run concurrently, forfeiture of property, and a $62,000 fine.
Combined, the penalties include probation, a lifetime revocation of hunting privileges, 300 hours of community service and more than $114,000 in fines.
“This is another example of serial poaching which rises to the level of felony conduct based solely on the repeated poaching conduct and impact of one individual on Oregon’s game mammals,” said Jay Hall, the Oregon Department of Justice’s Wildlife Anti-Poaching Resource Prosecutor. “The conduct across the several counties amounts to one of the highest damage amounts done to Oregon wildlife by any singular actor.”
Oregon State Police credited the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife for assisting with interviews and evidence collection, along with multiple witnesses who came forward during the investigation.
Oregon
Watch: Cops follow black bear through town
WILSONVILLE, Ore. (CNN) – Under the cover of the night sky, a bear took a jaunt around an Oregon town. Its presumed search for a snack was interrupted by a police officer’s bright spotlight.
For the next few minutes, the officer followed the bear as it sauntered down the road, even making sure the animal didn’t dart into the road.
Eventually, video shows the officer corralled the black bear and escorted it to a nearby river where it would be safer.
Copyright 2026 CNN Newsource. All rights reserved.
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