On Friday, April 26, the Front Royal Rotary sponsored a downtown Front Royal “Pub Crawl” featuring a Phony Ponies “horse race” ticket holders could bet on to add to the Rotary fundraiser, and a little reward for their knowledge of the relative prowess and breeding of the involved Phony Ponies. Or as one pre-race announcer informed the crowd, “We’ve got three stallions and two old mares in this race,” which was met by some boos from the filly-supporting contingent.

And it was one of those two filly mares that led the five-horse field across the finish line after three laps around the Gazebo in the in the Main Street Downs Raceway shortly after 7:30 p.m. — that was “Blazin’ Botox” (Warren County Sheriff Crystal Cline), followed in order by “Money for Nothing” (Front Royal Rotary President Ken Evans), “Closing Real Fast” (Front Royal Police Chief Kahle Magalis), “Bullseye” (Warren County Rotary President Michael Williams), and “The Old Gray Mare” or was that “Mayor” (Front Royal Mayor Lori Cockrell).

It was a highly competitive race with some post finish line challenges offered by runner up Money for Nothing, whose jockey Evans noted an unapproved by the Racing Commission pre-race change into borrowed running shoes by the winner, as well as some out-of-my-lane territorial elbow-bumping by Blazin’ Botox to keep him in his 2nd place position. WAIT, do horses have elbows? I guess phony ones do.

Race fans grew anxious as post time approached. All five Phony Ponies are at the starting line. Might that inside post position drawn by Blazin’ Botox prove a difference maker in the long run? And they’re OFF and the cameras are popping.

Jockey Cockrell explained her disappointing 5th place finish, noting she had locked in behind Bullseye/Williams early in the running. However, it ended up being a bad spot to draft, as Bullseye appeared to be having an equipment break-down in front of her, as in a drooping “saddle” threatening that stallions stability and which she had to pull back from for caution’s sake.

On the more serious side, the second annual Talk Derby To Me Pub Crawl fundraiser was in support of Rotary International’s eradicate polio worldwide effort. More information about Rotary’s efforts to end polio can be found at this website: https://www.rotary.org/en/our-causes/ending-polio

Involved and supporting downtown businesses included Vibrissa, the On Cue Sports Bar & Grill, Buckle & Belle Boutique, sponsor of the “Phony Ponies” race, C&C Frozen Treats, Pavemint Smoking Taphouse, Honey & Hops, Catamount Lounge, and Garcia & Gavino. Hope we didn’t miss anyone, and we’ll update as necessary if we did.

And in a late update, individual sponsoring of the Phony Ponies was provided by: Ken Evans, ReMax Reality sponsoring Evans on “Money For Nothing”; CSM Aesthetics sponsored “Blazin’ Botox” and jockey Cline; Clint Pierpoint, Next Home Reality Select sponsored “Closing Real Fast” with Chief Magalis on the saddle; Lori Cockrell for Mayor sponsored “The Old Grey Mare” with the mayor riding; and Shenandoah Valley Axe Throwing Co. sponsored the saddle-failing “Bullseye” with Williams keeping his stallion upright.

And if you missed the fun and excitement, here are a few more shots.

Jockeys try to get a handle on their situation during a warm-up lap. Wonder where that inside post position horse is? Uh oh, 3 racing laps around the Gazebo and there she is crossing that finish line in the lead, and it’s straight to the Winner’s Circle.

Below, second place Money for Nothing jockey Ken Evans gives a congratulatory nod to the winner, even with those late-acquired un-sanctioned shoes. And a final nod to the crowd from this year’s Phony Ponies leader of the pack Blazin’ Botox, out of the WCSO stables.